shirley elizabeth

Darn Vestibular

2012-01-06T12:50:00.000-08:00

Have you ever missed out on half of your trip around Scandinavia because your head was stuck between your knees?

Have you ever made a fool of yourself by throwing up out your friend's car window?

Do you want to punch the director of every movie that has a spinning scene? (there are other ways to show the passing time!)

Do you ever have to take breaks while doing household chores to sit and shake off the nausea?

Have you given up on ever being able to decorate or watch someone decorate the Christmas tree again?

Has the motion sickness from doing twenty measly morning sit-ups ever put you out for the entire morning and afternoon?

If not, then stop right now and offer thanksgivings for your blessed life. On the other hand, if you suffer through any of these experiences, come commiserate with me.

I should probably see a doctor about this.

Those Halcyon Days

2011-11-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

Trey likes to pull apart our bookshelves. It's actually really cute how he jumps and knows he's doing something bad when I catch him. Today he pulled down and opened my high school yearbook from Freshman year. I started reading some of the things my classmates wrote to me and couldn't stop. Check out some of these gems:

"I do not have a stoker."

"You are too smart and I want some answers from you."

"You have a natural talent to dance or move. You are very flexible." (what in the crap? ha!)

"It was great trying to guess what song was stuck in your head."

"God is in the TV." (with a picture even)

"I have a tip: get better at jokes."

"Surely, you are funny and look like Julia."

"Always eat your vegetables." {recognize that J(no longer M)T?}

"Make sure that, no matter how desperate you are to date my brother, you wait until you're sixteen. Don't worry - you can date him as much as you want after that."

"I know you will remember me. I sit next to you." (deep words from my first serious crush)

Also, in slightly related news, I just watched the pilot episode of Gossip Girl and am already addicted. The things I do to myself.

And, since I can't leave you without something adorable to look at, behold, the child:

2011-10-31T12:00:00.000-07:00

Let's follow Shirley's descent into awkwardness - Halloween style!

Look at that adorable CareBear! (I have no idea what's up with Jacob. Are those pipe cleaners and cotton balls?)

Awww. Apparently us three girls are princesses (and a Barbie). Holy incredible hair clip.

I was probably Cat Woman every other Halloween growing up. When you've found something you can rock so well, why ever change?

Ah! Holy all that Halloween stands for! Now THAT is scary.

Have fun Halloweening!

Did you know I'm a genius? Fo reals.

2011-10-18T23:26:00.000-07:00

Hiya everybody! Sorry to be neglectful of the blog, but I have been crazy busy with a million ton of other things.

Por ejemplo:

Rototilling the yard. This isn't actually me. This is Mike from last year. But I did it this year, and pretty much Mike hated me for it. I guess it didn't need it? Whatevers. It was so much fun.

Finally putting that textured wallpaper up in our bathroom so we can get it put back together. I am very much done with sending guests to the master bathroom. Hopefully I can talk Mike into taking the toilet out again this weekend so we can paint the wall and officially be done!

Recycling everything to make awesome Halloween decorations! These two examples are our poor trees that died in the frosts (hey, it's only a $300 decoration!) and my costume from last year that consisted of about a hunnerd yards of tulle. But really, I have so many more frickin' amazing ideas it's genius! I can't get enough of myself. Nor Halloween. Come to our party!

Chopping, chopping, bagging, chopping, freezing strawberries. 16 pounds for myself and a bunch more for my friend (I chopped strawberries, she went on a cruise...hmmm).

Holy cow my hutch! In this I am also genius. This is just a sneak peak for you while I await the door hardware (that I ordered a week and a half ago?) and then tell all about it. This almost trumps all of Halloween. But doesn't.

Hanging out with this crazy cute kid! Who, actually, sometimes is more crazy than cute. Like today. When taking a borrowed Cinderella dress in a million sizes took me the ENTIRE day instead of a couple of hours. Thank you, crazy cute kid. Then my neighbor (bless her heart) sent her five year-old over and I got more done in that fifteen minutes than I had all day. Woot.

Unfortunately, I will be pretty quiet for the rest of the week and possibly next week as well, what with all the Halloween ingenuity going on over here. I've got to get Mike's costume taken in and Trey's costume made by Saturday for a family party, and then I'll only have a week till our party! Bah!

AND, since my sister will be in town this weekend we have made it a sister's night Saturday (to take place in the morning) and are going to a MASTERS Zumba class. Apparently my sister is going to be an instructor? Yeah, I've seen the videos, and I am terrified. I got zero moves like jagger. One klutzy, awkward, freckled white girl does not equal Shakira (cue hips don't lie in full screen) NO MATTER how much I wish it. Please, raise your hand if your husband's got sexier moves than you and commiserate with me.

UPDATED: Sorry, forgot to add - I should have started training with a stroller years ago. Holy scrap running with a stroller is the hardest thing! So, for those still in the pre-mom stage that run, I would suggest a little cross training with a jogger.

Oh, What's In a Name?

2011-10-03T13:11:00.000-07:00

I was named after my amazing Grandma (and I just happen to be posting this on her BIRTHDAY!). Unfortunately, I didn't get her flair of beauty (wish I had some of her old pics to show you), but I'm happy enough to try to represent her in other ways that I can. It's some pretty intense stuff, having the name of someone else. I can see all of the ways that I don't live up to it, but boy do I try, because being just like grandma would be awesome, of course.

I have always loved my name, though others might not get it. Yet, there is more to this birthright than I imagined growing up. When people hear about Shirley So-And-So the person that comes to mind is

(source)

Old Lady. Whether she be angry or not. In my experience, Shirley's are usually amiable enough. But either way, Old Lady. This means a couple of things. One is that I am always receiving Old Person mail. Certain groups seem to be endlessly concerned that I have a pretty lot picked out at a cemetery in time, that my casket will be to my liking, that my dentures are staying in tight - and clean, that my will is in order, and that I'm getting all that's due me from Social Security and Medicare. Such considerate souls.

The latest has been so kind as to wonder at my hearing.

People automatically assuming I am an old person also makes for trouble when workers come by the house. This is a conversation with our A/C checker guy.

ACCG: I'll give this info to my office. Thanks and have a nice day.

ME: Oh thank you. How will this be billed?

ACCG: Since there was no damage we'll send the bill to the homeowner.

ME: Yes, that's me. Will you still just send it, or will you take payment right now?

ACCG: Oh no we can just send the bill to the homeowner.

ME: Yes, that's me. I'm the homeowner. I'm Shirley. Do you need payment now if I'm Shirley?

ACCG: Oh, YOU'RE Shirley? Okay, yes I can take a card.

This might not all be the fault of my name, though. It could just be that, more than anything else, I am an old person. No, not an old soul. An old person. I talk about young girls like I was fifty years older than they. I fall asleep when I shouldn't - like when hanging out at friends' houses or on Mike's couch (before we were married. ALL the time). I'm losing my mind. All of my hair is falling out (I'm going to have to get the Sheri Do!). My biggest dreams are very old person-esque: Most people know of my desire to run a flower shop someday, but they might not know that I would love love to be a Story Lady.

Please tell me you've heard of The Story Lady. When I watched that as a little girl I wanted to be her, and dang-it I'd be so good at it, too. But really, if it were reading stories to kids or narrating for novels and big productions, I would love it.

So, Shirley: sleepy wannabe story lady, often mistaken for an old person, trying to be just like Grandma.

Lists: Last Week Edition

2011-09-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

Self-Inflicted Injuries:

two-inch burn on my hand from the oven
black eye from walking into the wall
cut lip - Amidala lips - from walking into the door
gash in the knee from crawling out of Trey's room without him seeing me
paper cut
paper cut
more burns

Days:

Sunday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Friday
Sunday
:-)

Phrases Most Often Said at Trey:

What is your deal?
You just like me for my body.
Ooh I love your chubs!
WHAT is your deal?

Rooms I Endlessly Cleaned Yet Defiantly Stayed Messy:

Kitchen
Great Room
Front Bedroom (that we call the Back Bedroom)
Master Bathroom (Trey's favorite play room)
Note: All other areas of the house were given license to stay in whatever state they desired

New Shows We Got to Watch Again:

Parks and Rec
Modern Family
Community
The Office (not big fans anymore; hulu was on auto play)
Glee (I think we watched it)
The Lying Game (I watch this because I'm dumb. Really, I can't think of any reason to watch it besides it's on earlier in the week.)

Nail Colors Attempted Yet Ruined Because I Have a Baby:

Red (a few times over)
Pink
Blue
Sea-Foam Green
Orangey-Red

Sisters I Got to See:

Mandy
Jill
Julia
Val
Jess (newest SIL)
Becca
Kendra (let's just be hopeful and count her here)
All the rest of you - next girls night in Oct - COME

UPDATED to add: Things I Lost A Million Times Over and Spent Way Too Much Time Looking For:

My glasses
Nail polish and accessories
Trey's binkies
My phone

(Mike is adding to my list)

Tweezers
Lotion
Neosporin
My mind

2011-09-18T22:57:00.000-07:00

While visiting my parents' this weekend, I went up to my sister's room with the intent to feed my baby, but instead came down with an armful of shirts to borrow.

From my 14 year old sister.

And, no joke, I'm excited to wear the cute stuff.

I am a bit stumped by this situation. You see, this is me at 14:

That's right. Loads and

LOADS of style. But we've discussed all this and you already knew that.

P.S. Where ever you may be, take part in Museum Day! Request a ticket at the Smithsonian Magazine website (link) for free admission for two people to most museums this Saturday. We've got ours. Will you join us?

Will you take me dancing?

2011-09-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

Be sure to watch out for that alligator, folks.

Worst Mom Ever Badge

2011-09-13T16:59:00.000-07:00

(Applause)

Thank you, thank you. Really, what an honor. I am overcome.

(Applause)

But,

(Hand up)

I know I could not have gotten here alone. There are so many that I owe so much to in this.

First, Trusty Toaster: I know I would not be here if not for you. I express my deepest gratitude.

(Applause)

There are still many more that have accompanied me down this path.

Netflix, Hulu – you two have facilitated me most in this effort, and I know we’ll never forget all of the long days and late nights.

Choking Hazards, Sharp Objects, how many times have we, together, worked toward this goal? Too many to count.

Of course, Audio Books, I can’t leave you out. I know ours is a recent partnership, but one I hope to see continue on for a very long time as we commit to continue in this crusade.

(Applause)

Again, I want to thank all of you for this tribute, and finish off with my recognition of you, Trey: I couldn’t have done it without you!

(Applause)

Lamb of God

2011-09-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

Last chance to squaggle your butt over to see the Lamb of God performance! Tonight, 7:30, tickets $10-$20, my husband's in it. Doooo it.

(I don't think I've ever made as many typos as I did typing those three sentences. and this one. What in the Saturday morning?)

Games and Guns

2011-09-07T23:31:00.000-07:00

Mike works super overtime right now, to make the extension deadline, which leaves Trey and I cooped up in the house with little outside contact till he gets home at eight or nine (PLEASE come play with us). I may just go crazy. So it's nice for us to get a fun break from the tedium.

Daddy and Trey, both focused on their pizza and the game.

We went shooting for the holiday. Mike's dad has some pretty impressive guns, to go along with my pretty impressive aim (wink). It was the perfect weather for it, and made me want to go hike the hills instead of shoot at them (which would have been a death sentence with everyone out there taking advantage of the holiday) but it was lots of fun.

(thanks for the gif help Connie! I'm addicted.)

Pillow Talk

2011-09-04T23:24:00.000-07:00

shirley: I'm sorry. When I'm in a book, I'm IN the book. It's like my id is stuck inside and can't be drawn out. You know how you keep having to ask if I'm okay? I'm perfectly fine, just have nothing to express. I'm just blank outside the book.

mike: I won the bookmark contest in fifth grade.

2011-09-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

Trey has always been a screamer, but has recently resorted to screaling to express any- and everything. I know I said I didn't want anything for my birthday, but I changed my mind. Ear plugs. Please.

He's so cute, but it's sometimes hard to see that through the nausea his ear-shattering screams give me (really, what would life be like?).

The Facts of (Stock) Life

2011-08-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

FACT: We are not cupcake people.

Lots of people seem to be nowadays. I think there's a new little cupcake shop in every strip mall. If all that was offered for dessert was cupcakes, Mike would just go without (till we got home anyway). Cake is so much easier - and cheaper!

FACT: I was out of the habit of being productive for way too long.

I blame the pregnancy, but I'm pretty sure it was coming on before then. Really, my laziness was embarrassing. I now have a daily checklist to get through each day. Productivity = happiness. And I think Mike likes me better, too.

FACT: All synonyms at dictionary.com for productivity mean "fertility."

Yeah.....um, I think I still hold to the previous equation.

FACT: Doing laundry makes me motion sick.

I had to lay down for a long time after packing up all of Trey's "old clothes." It's usually not that bad.

FACT: Lots of things make me motion sick.

In the picture on my header I was actually really sick. I had wasted a half week in Denmark getting over plane sickness to get on a boat and become even sicker (hence the soup). I wonder what life would be like without it.

FACT: Mike and I are best friends.

He told me so. It's just the greatest thing.

FACT: Mopping angers me because of the mop streaks left in the wake.

Natalie likes to laugh at my mopping routine, but mop lines drive me crazy. PLEASE teach me how to get rid of them.

FACT: Every time a blogger says, "I'm making my blog private," there is a blog somewhere that falls down dead.

For real. Sure, you get a VIP spot in my sidebar so I can access you, but I only remember to get to those once every three weeks or so. And who wants to comment at that point?

FACT: Trey eats. Many things.

Yellow flowers

Pink flowers (these are not as good, apparently)

Toes

Spoons

Plums

Uno Cards

FACT: I love having fresh flowers to decorate with.

Love love love. Still have some of my birthday flowers out.

FACT: The digital library is the best thing.

I download and listen to books all the time. Really works along great with the being productive thing. Oh and with having a momma's boy.

FACT: This picture makes my teeth tingle just wanting to eat up those thighs.

I Strongly Suggest:

2011-08-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

I hold the notion that personal blogs should be pleasant to read regardless of political beliefs and background, and welcoming of all respectful input. Because of this I make a point to not include discussion of my personal politics, even though a quarter of my day is spent mired in the stuff (were you not aware?). Regardless, I am sure everyone has guessed that I am strongly conservative (according to the current definitions - if you've got the correct definition anyway). The following is not meant to isolate or offend anyone, and you can decide if you wish to continue on or not.

If you would like to hear some patriotic inspiration, I would suggest you watch this video of a recent speech by Marco Rubio. This man says so many things that are so spot on and emboldening that, no matter your political leanings, it is sure to spark something within you. There are so many lines and quotes that I would mention that I could do nothing less than post the entire video. I would urge you to stick around for the entire thing, but will instead advise you to make sure you have a full twenty-three minutes of spare time to watch before pressing play, as you will not want to pause it once started.

To offer two asides: 1. I would be annoyed to give a speech where people started clapping at any time they want, though I wouldn't mind the occasional "Amen!" or "Let's hear it Sister!" 2. If he stays on this path, I would proudly vote for him in the future, given the opportunity.

2011-08-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

I have long been of the opinion that the most beautiful instrument in the world is the male voice. (human, of course) There are lovely horns and strings and piano melodies. Women can inspire and Kenny G. can play every sexy Christmas tune, but none of that can fill you like a gentle baritone cadence.

My Michaelhusband sings. He sings beautifully. He sings in a way that turns me to butter every time I hear it. He once sang "On the Road Again" at a family reunion and it caused my heart to flutter right out of my chest. It would have had the same effect on the other girls if they hadn't all been blood.

In fact, at that time when I was planning to marry someone else I thought of how it meant that he would never sing to me again, and it ripped my heart (have you ever felt that? I was experiencing a lot of that those days). And then I imagined that he would find another girl and would sing for her, and it ripped my heart again. That is one reason I knew my answer - it brought me to the ground to think of him singing for any one else.

Mike has been invited to sing in the performance of Lamb of God by Rob Gardner that will be presented at Gammage Auditorium on September 9th and 10th. The description from Spire Music:

Lamb of God is a sacred musical work for choir, orchestra and soloists focusing on the final days of the life of Jesus Christ, His Atonement and Resurrection. It is written as a dramatic work and presented in concert format. It uses as its basis, and much of its text, the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and especially John, as found in the King James version of the Holy Bible.

This inspiring piece is something you do not want to miss. Tickets are $10-$20, so totally doable even on a tight budget. Grab some tickets through Spire Music.

Autumn Inspiration

2011-08-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

All holidays are great (we'll take any holiday we can get), but the most anticipated holiday in our house is Halloween. Is this funny in a religious household? There's nothing really special or meaningful to Halloween, yet still, aside from sports, it, and all the festivities that come along, is one of the most discussed topics in the Stock home.

I have costumes that I have brainstormed since this time last year - that's right, I begin planning next year's Halloween before current year's is even passed. Party ideas and motifs run through my head year-round, and then daily as we get closer to the big day. Oh what? You didn't know about our Halloween party??

It's true. This October 2011 will mark the Stock's 2nd Annual Halloween Bash (one of these years we'll think of a cool name for it). We went all out - or, as far as we could with the budget we had - for the first, and it was loads of fun. We had pirates and superheroes and princesses and M&Ms and psychos and Russians and old people and bandits and bugs, and even a blind referee and his trusty robot friend:

(Blind Referee is actually Connie's boy)

And please take a moment of silence for the time, blood, and sweat (not to mention lost pins) put into this amazing mummy costume (minus the head piece that makes him slightly scary):

Sadly, Mike didn't let me tea die it for a more authentic look, but I'm pretty proud of how awesome it looks for having been made on short notice.

At this point, we're pretty amateur Halloween party throwers, but the idea is to get better and better with each year, and we've definitely got a lot planned for this one. And though our budget doesn't allow for every idea to come to fruition, we put them back into the pot for future years. (I totally plan to pull off the bathroom this year, so watch out. And Mike hopes to really make a scare with his carport haunted house again - but for real this time.)

But speaking of limited party budgets, wouldn't it be awesome to have some help in that area? And not just help there, but with the decor as well? Have any of you heard of Autumn with Matthew Mead? A GREAT magazine - definitely getting an issue for inspiration. Bloggers from around the sphere have given their best input, and you'll probably recognize some of your favorites.

Autumn with Matthew Mead is hosting a giveaway for $250 gift cards for autumn decorating right now (holy how far that would go for us!) to get the word out about their genius "book-azine." Follow my links to go check them out and order your own issue!

(Oh yeah and come to our Halloween party!)

Where I Been At

2011-08-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

What have I been up to so far this week?

1. Finishing out some work stuff. It really shouldn't be so hard for me to get it all done with just one kid, but for some reason it is. It's like trying to work with kryptonite in my pocket.

2. Cleaning up lots of baby vomit. Yay vomit!

3. Being sufficiently nauseous myself.

4. Eating a holy number of ice cream snickers bars (after the nausea passed, of course). Why oh why did I buy those?

5. Getting really sad about the violence across the pond. Yay violence! (not really yay, but every time I hear any "v" word I'm reminded of a Fairly Odd Parents episode and automatically "Yay v-word" goes through my head.)

6. Pining after running trails.

7. Talking to lots of inspectors and insurance people.

8. Getting to know my cool new phone.

9. Catching up on Glee Project. Quite honestly, I am not a huge fan of Glee. It is a zero percent accurate portrayal of high school and pretty much just promotes teen sex. Plus, 3/4 of the show is, "I'm gay so no one likes me." Really, we get it; you don't have to say it again every week. But anyway, Esther friend mentioned The Glee Project one day and, truth, it's so much more entertaining than the series. Yes, the kids are so dramatic and some extremely annoying, but at least I can get through an entire episode. Also, this line:

"The back of my neck says 'Jesus Christ.' Seriously."

10. While on the topic of shows, not watching Prison Break. We are not on speaking terms. Really, why would you kill off the love interest?? Kill the boy! But then you think up some retarded reason that she really didn't die later because you realized your mistake in killing her off in the first place? I hate you. Plus, I was getting too attached to Scoffield. I don't believe in that.

11. This:

Speaking of which, I've gotta get back to that.

Crappy Housewife

2011-08-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

Has everyone met Rebecca Black's hot, blonde, Norwegian older step-sister?

Catchy.

Oh the Joys

2011-08-02T16:51:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that every seven years or so our bodies go through a chemical change. Over the years I have used this idea to excuse away things I can't explain. "Oh I must be going through a chemical change."

It works.

Now pregnancy actually is a chemical change, and one that, for me, entailed going through puberty...again. SO MUCH FUN, right?

I'm not being completely straight with you. My first time through puberty consisted of: getting boobs.

That's it. I kept my perfect skin (I don't consider freckles flaws), colorless leg hair, and ability to go days without washing my hair or even sweating or smelling at all.

This was all just dessert, though, for having lived for YEARS as the most awkward and creepy little girl to ever ungrace the earth, and - get this - without even knowing it.

Proof:

The horrible

hideous

proof

Just desserts, I tell you. And be glad I spared you all The Bob Cut of Seventh Grade.

Unfortunately, with pregnancy all of that changed. It's like fate looked over my records and gasped, "Whuuuuht?!" And then proceeded to bless me with all I had missed out on initially. On came the acne. On came the nasty hair. On came having to remember deodorant (it's hard). The injustice!

I feel like awkward, preteen Shirley all over again. Everything looks and feels funny on me. I'm sitting inside strange skin. Is this just how post-pregnancy feels? Bleh.

I have noticed many women that hit that 25-35 range and just blossom, becoming more vibrant and beautiful each year. I'm hoping to bypass this second puberty quickly and turn out like them.

Let's play a little "I Spy" with those pictures. 5 points for finding each on the list:

hideous braided belt

what in the flower on the hat?

winnie the pooh garb

3 pairs of overalls

checkered shorts

6 unfortunate sets of bangs

little katie guest appearing in each one

Dead Men Tell No Tales, Unless They Put It On the Internets First

2011-07-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

I would like you all to know the huge risk I am taking, the danger I am putting myself in for your entertainment: I could be shot for this. Or at the very least: ruin my marriage.

You see, about a year ago Mike and I sent out homemade postcards to our family and close friends announcing our pregnancy.

If you go to any of my siblings' houses you are very likely to see this picture still hanging out on the fridge, or even have a more honored spot. Some of my neices and nephews still ask why Mike had a big belly and what happened to it.

Most people have already seen that picture, since, after everyone received it in the mail, we put it up on facebook. What they haven't seen, though, are the outtakes.

This one was the runner-up contender for the final post card. Lost by just a hair.

Mike is all about pregnant booty.

And finally, the kicker:

I've posted this here before, but a little later, once we had found out the gender of our love child, we emailed this out to the same mailing list (and subsequently posted it to facebook):

Now, to make up a tiny bit for what I've done to Mike, the best, handsomest, strongest, most forgiving man that I love oh so incredibly much, I will show you all this:

Can you tell how much I love roller coasters? Jack makes 90% of this picture. And what's with bored loner in the back?

2011-07-25T17:40:00.000-07:00

You know those people that you just admire for everything they are and everything you see in them? Those people are all around me. It’s crazy.

My Visiting Teaching companion, Sarah, is one of those people. We’ve been partners since I received my Visiting Teaching calling in this ward sometime soon after we moved in, two and a half years ago. The things I have learned from and of her truly make me wish to share more of a relationship outside of VT.

While I am the one that will always come with baked goods (because that’s all I know how to do) or spend way too long attempting to put something cutesy together, she always has some kind amazing knack or décor item ready to give or drop off if we’re unable to meet with our girls.

While I stumble and stutter through small talk or an awkward lesson (can’t I just have cue cards?), Sarah easily chats, transitions, and shares the best of her testimony.

Plus, she and her husband are the best looking couple in the ward.

Overall, Sarah is the type of person everyone wants to know and take inspiration from.

About a year and a half ago a special miracle occurred in Sarah’s life, and I can’t help but feel emotional and so happy every time I hear it. She and her husband recently shared part of their story in one of those “I’m a Mormon” videos that have been coming out. Please watch and see a little of why I admire her so:

It baffles me that so many amazing and incredible people are unable to have the children they desire so much, and that they are forced to go through harrowing treatments and/or adoption woes. I cannot imagine how it would be to have that lot in life.

On the other side, I hurt so for the children that are unwanted in the womb, or those that come here and do not have a happy family as I was blessed with. I am so happy for people, like Chance and Sarah, that take these children into their hearts and homes to be their own.

It’s a weird dream to have, but I hope that one day the timing and situation is right for me to be a part of bringing happiness to a lonely child’s life (and that Mike would be willing as well), or at least be able to foster.

Oh Goodness

2011-07-24T22:51:00.000-07:00

Picture from this weekend's reuinion:

Check out that belly! No, not the baby's. Mine. Goodness gracious, what happened? Yeah I had a kid, but this softness is in the last month recent. I'm still at the same 10-pounds-over-pre-baby-weight, but I guess all that extra has decided to start pooling in one place. Sadly.

Since my neighbor already watches my kid so I can work, would anyone like to volunteer to watch the adorable cuteness so I can be a runner again?

Coming tomorrow: Ode to my Visiting Teaching companion.

Tide Test

2011-07-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

You know those Tide commercials where the kids come in covered in stains, mom smiles a happy, knowing smile, because she's got it covered of course, and then you see a before and after of the stained clothes (presumably the kids stripped down in the laundry room - ha remember having to ever do that?)?

I got some of the new Tide Stain Remover for really cheap with a coupon and current sale and had the perfect opportunity to test it out when Trey had a nasty blowout. He's always providing me with great opportunities for things. Children are so great.

Here is your before picture. This is after I had scrubbed it down with soap (if eating, please stop chewing at this point):

While waiting for the outcome, Baby played Super Trey with Daddy and Grandpa...

...and Mike and I discussed how I prefer Trey in "butt tight" onsies and he likes them too big. If Trey could speak I'm sure he'd say something about wanting them to be just right.

When the dryer buzzed, this is what we pulled out:

He can wear it again!

Also, why is it that we always decide to start an episode of Bones during dinner? We never learn.

Day of Movies

2011-07-15T11:16:00.000-07:00

These have all entertained me today:

This one I can only link to since it was uploaded to facebook:

My brothers.

Muppets are genius:

And speaking of Muppets, are you excited for this? (and did you know Flight of the Conchords is doing the music and directing? I think it's the perfect place for them.)

Also, I was wasting time by reading my really old blog posts this morning. I guess it's a good thing, but I find my-back then-self quite an entertaining read. For a loser of course.

UPDATE: I almost forgot that I really liked this this week as well. He didn't win his race, but I much approve of his suggested "culture of adoption:"

bourgeois

2011-07-11T21:56:00.000-07:00

Mike and I were watching some Kids Say the Darndest Things with Art Linkletter clips the other day. That's some good stuff. I decided that I now want every video there ever could be of that show for my birthday. I'll even take the Cosby stuff from when I was younger.

While we were watching, I wondered why, since this was pure gold, they didn't still have a similar show running?

Mike answered, "They can't. The kids could say the wrong thing." Heaven forbid.

What a sad time to live, when the darndest things kids could say can't even be said. Be disrespectful and disreputable all you want, just as long as you're pc.
_._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._

Trey is so good at eating, Let me tell you all about it!

He will eat normally for a couple of bites, but then he will start to blow on the spoon as it goes into his mouth, plastering his upper lip with strawberries and pears, or whatever it is he is eating at the moment. His next move is to snort up as much ofthe food he can get before I wipe it up. His nose then drips food for the next hour, or, if I get lucky, he'll sneeze a ton of it out all at once (and all over everything)! It's such an efficient way to eat, I don't know why everyone doesn't do it!

_._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._

Mike is pretty nice to me.

2011-07-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

Music for your listening pleasure as you read this post:

Mike and I love San Diego. Love love. San Diego has it all: beautiful weather, beautiful beaches, beautiful temple, Luigi’s, Julia’s in-laws, and other stuff.

We love San Diego. In fact, we might even consider marrying it if we weren’t already in a committed relationship with the Valley.

San Diego is our secret lover that the neighbor’s whisper about behind our backs. Oh sure, we’ve got history and a beautiful relationship with AZ, the stuff that keeps us together, but everyone’s got their own turf infidelities, and if that’s something you balk at, we’ll just call it a “confusion” or “weakness.” (“Honey, it was a moment of weakness! She was flashing her BEACHES at me! How could I resist?!)

San Diego is the cute, younger kind of lover we could never really take seriously, but, even so, feel ourselves longing for if we don’t sneak away for a visit every couple months. In those times, we convince her of our love and fill her with false hopes, and then too soon drive away, back to the warm, familiar bed waiting.

Now the Valley, of course, knows all about this arrangement, but could never admit to herself that she can’t hold our short attention (I have needs woman!). She thought that a baby would finally help to hold us down and monopolize our affections (I think that’s the start of every Maury or Jerry Springer episode), and that did work for a bit, but really, what can you expect with such a track record.

But we are back now, and always will come back, because our AZ love is true.

(the same may not be true if you were to ever bring up Denver to Mike. Now SHE is a whole different story.)

SanBanego!

2011-07-01T17:01:00.000-07:00

We're headed off for the weekend, and couldn't be more excited! This is our first trip since baby. We've been meaning/wanting to take little weekend cabin trips, but every time we've been able to someone else has reserved it. That's what we get for being so(,what some may call last minute or lame, but we just refer to as) flexible.

In preparation for our First Road Trip Ever With Baby, I spent a million ton of time this week making a million ton of fruit leather. And now that I've got it all portioned and neatly stacked, I don't want anything to do with it. Anyone want some?

Here are basic fruit leather instructions:

1. Dice up your fruit.

(the mango actually turned out the best) (also, I'm not big on mango, but I discovered I am the mango master. look at that perfect thing!)

2. Cook your fruit.

(apricot)

3. Blend your fruit.

(this is the strawberry before the straining proces. that's optional. for those who don't prefer strawberry seeds.) (like Mike.)

4. Make sure your baby practices his piano (also optional).

5. Spread the blended fruits in every pan you've got and let sit in the oven and/or sun for all the day long.

6. Do with it whatever your patience allows.

See ya'll when we get back! Have a wonderful Independence Day!

(it's true that one thing I regret about leaving is missing all the cool blog giveaways from the holiday weekend. Yes, I actually thought about that.)

(mango master)

2011-06-28T22:03:00.000-07:00

Why, hello there.

It is time for me to be a better person and start blogging more. I mean, "again."

How will this make me a better person? Well, let me tell you.
I got nothin'.

But there are some better people I know that blog regularly. And some memory of a quote is coming into my head now...: something about association and causation. Eh, it's probably not important.

So, some people I like that blog regularly: Natalie (has fun little boy, younger than Trey but is passing him up in everything already), Connie (but of course. always cute and thoughtful posts, and love the photography), Christine (probably doesn't know I read, and sometimes read to Mike. does this genius weekly sibling report that is always a hoot), Katie (has been on a roll lately thanks to a personal goal. stick around even though it's over soon!), and Katie (way fun girl and blog, I especially appreciate her Sunday posts. also genius.)

My favorite blogs: The Pioneer Woman (of course.) (her picture holds a place next to Jesus on our mantle), Boolworm Room, and Althouse.

Also, I have a baby.

This little boy of mine...

2011-03-28T13:24:00.000-07:00

I have a big boy and a little boy.

This is my little boy:

He is the prettiest baby and the cutest thing ever. For reals, ever.

(I can't get over that face.)

Before he was born, when people would ask how I felt, my reply was, "Regular." Then he was here, and as he was getting his lungs and body de-gooped I could just look over where he was and cry - with no thoughts really, just feeling. Lotsa feeling.

Then I was handed my baby boy. I learned in church (what the?) that there's a rush of oxytocin at this point, facilitating the bond of the mother for the child. I looked at and held my little boy and felt that I want to give everything I have, everything that is me, to this little being. And now that's my regular.

It's horrible that he's already two months old. I'm nostalgic for his infant days.

6 days old

5 1/2 weeks old

7 1/2 weeks old

But gee whiz this kid is so fun and cute. He makes goober faces when awake and growls in his sleep. "He simpers and smirks and makes love to us all."

He doesn't laugh yet, but will give some smiles when tickled. He likes dancing and when I rattle my pill bottles. And he loves running.

freaked

2011-01-06T14:55:00.000-08:00

I usually handle things pretty well. I'm not a big panicker or one to lash out. I attribute this to being mostly mentally stable and prepared for outcomes. It's not just having a knowledge of what to do in situations, but also realizing the chance of it happening. So, for example, when I'm out on a trail and come upon a snake or take a hard fall, I just deal with it.

I like to get in a kayak or raft and go down the river. Of course, I've only ever done this with people I consider to be "experts" and trust to be able to take over when my skills are insufficient.

My friend was once teaching me to roll in a kayak in his pool (since learning, I actually haven't had a chance to test it out on the river. my last trip's runs were too advanced for me to try on my own, and we only had one kayak in the group, or were runs I had no danger of rolling.). As we were joking/flirting once, he pushed me out into the water and I flipped.

I immediately began panicking. I didn't have a paddle. It did not enter my head to pull the chicken strap. I didn't consider calming myself to a point where I could attempt to roll without a paddle. All thought was that I was stuck under water and I needed to get air.

I started using all my energy and air to claw my way up the side of the kayak, which is impossible and just silly with the spray skirt on. My friend realized after a while that I was not going to consider the chicken strap, so he jumped in, propelled himself to lift the kayak some to give me a moment of air, and then went under to find the strap and released me.

What is funny is that I knew how to help myself. I had numerous times, and without any thought, pulled the chicken strap after flipping in real rapids. I had repeatedly righted myself in the pool over the weeks. That was the time I panicked. That was the scariest time I ever had in a kayak. It wasn't trying out a fall. It wasn't getting stuck in a hole or caught in brush. It wasn't in a rapid of any kind.

It was at home.

2010-11-15T15:25:00.001-08:00

Last night I turned off the lights, strung out some of the new Christmas lights we got, and sat in the center of the room looking at them.

Usually dogs that see you regularly get used to you. Our neighbor's dog is so used to me that it now comes into our driveway to bark it's head off at me. I keep myself from kicking it by saying that it's not the dog's fault it was never introduced to discipline and care, and feeling bad that the negligence will probably get it kicked.

But for real I wouldn't kick a barking dog anyway.

I don't really sleep at night anymore. So that means I've been staying in bed till eight or nine trying to make up for it. It hasn't been working. I'm still just exhausted.

I think we had people over or went out with people every day but one last week. Holy scrud my husband is a social bug. If you ever want to hang out, Mike would love to have you over.

Squishy grapes disgust me. I only take 'em crunchy. Mike doesn't eat peaches because he doesn't like the texture, which is weird to me, since they are delicious.

I have lately had the craving to make apple and peach pies, but right now will instead make some soup, find a new crossword or sudoku, and take it to bed.

I could possibly even be asleep by the time Mike gets home from work. Cross your fingers.

US Declaration of Silence

2010-10-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

So, based on the premise that someone might be sensitive and go kill himself, we are not supposed to say anything that would ever offend anyone.

Makes perfect sense.

a Little Lamer Lednesday

2010-09-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

It's late, and I'm pooped, so I apologize for not having a story this time.

Actually, I do have a story. A couple of stories. And all week I've been meaning to tell them, and I've been saving a special one for today, but I really want to move on to bed, so I apologize for not telling the stories I have. I will make up for it...maybe Sunday? It's a really busy week, I tell ya.

(ADD: why do people have a problem with you saying that something is retarded but not that it's lame? I say, that is retarded and lame. as well as dumb. and deaf. blind even. toast.)

{one} what is your happiest childhood memory?
and darnit, they start with a hard one. Mike says that my favorite childhood memory is from when my two older sisters were playing at the neighbor's house and I, looking for an excuse to possibly get invited in as well, went to the door with a question for them. "Is this your penny?" I don't think the three of them cared, and I still was not invited in to play. I also remember trying to pull that trick with other objects, but the penny is most memorable to my sisters.
Obviously, this is not my happiest memory, but it's probably the one that gets told most often, and not by myself.

{two} what is your middle name?
elizabeth . quite obviously.

{three} what’s the habit you’re most proud of breaking?
my alcohol problem. I was born with a bottle in my hands, and it wasn't till recently I've been able to find the strength to kick it - love you Mikey!
(Mike just said, "Sometimes you are really dumb. Fo' real.")

{four} what do you order when you order chinese food?
my regulars are rice, noodles, orange chicken, beef and broccoli, or sweet and sour pork. I don't even know if those last few are authentic Chinese dishes. I really just answered the question "What do you order when you order from Panda Express?"

{five} what’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?
I think some decks of playing cards when I was...11 or something. The neighbor's yard.

{six} what’s the best costume you’ve ever worn?
when i was younger I was always either Cat Woman or something dumb. My best years so far were probably once in high school when I was Sandy from Greese with these butt-tight black pants, a couple years back when my boyfriend and I were Cosmo and Wanda, and two years ago when Mike and I were Gomez and Morticia from The Addams Family.

{seven} who’s your favorite game show host?
Is that a trick question? Is there even any other game show worth mentioning besides The Price is Right? (don't bring up Wheel of Fortune - I don't know any of those answers!)

{eight} what’s your favorite breakfast food?
Cereal? Eggs? Grits? Oatmeal with blueberries? Plain waffle with butter? Bagel/egg sandwich? Breakfast burrito? Why do these questions always ask for darn favorites!

{nine} what’s your least favorite word?
lol. Not even a word. NEVER acceptable.

{ten} describe something that happened to you for which you have no explanation.
ha ha ha - a couple fools I dated. Really, I can't even explain it to myself.

Demoted.

2010-09-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

That's right. Me. And it's the most relieving feeling.

I work in a position I never wanted, for a boss I mostly despise, doing the work two full-time accountants used to handle. It's been tough to stay above water, and systems I would love and badly need to put into place I have had no time to sit and enact, and, when I've tried, that despicable boss comes along and makes it all useless. Seriously, crappy management is the bane of an accountant's work. Many know that I have wanted out for quite a while now.

Last week was nearly it for me. It was a four-day work week starting Tuesday, but I think I still worked 50 hours trying to meet deadlines - even taking my computer out during a family party on the weekend. And my boss was just too much. Each day I loathed him even more, and by the end of the week I was crying in bed each night, sleeping horribly, and spent my weekend just feeling sick, dreading going back on Monday, and begging Mike to let me quit. The one highlight was that we put up that movie I think is cute and everyone else thought it was cute, too.

Monday looked like it was just going to continue the culmination of the crap, as I worked a 12-hour, crappy, exhausted day, but I finally went to my boss and laid it down. I said I'm having a baby in January. This has been too much for me, and I can't do it anymore. I said when I agreed to help you out in this position I told you it was never in my plans, I didn't want it, I was looking for something outside of the industry, and advised you get someone else to come in. I told him that if I did work after baby, it would only be a minimal part-time, and if they weren't willing or able to have me in a position like that, I'd be perfectly fine with it. I told him my suggestion was to demote me back to assistant and bring in someone now to take over the controller duties. This way we could get back on top of things and we would have plenty of time for me to show him/her around, and by the time I had baby we would be completing our current huge projects, new person would be well set up, and they'd better able to gauge whether a part-time Shirley would be reasonable or not.

They interviewed yesterday and a new guy starts on the 30th. When my boss agreed to my plan it was such a relief. He expressed some sincere concern over my well-being the past couple weeks. For some reason my bosses like me a lot (two of them - one is tons better than the other). I'm a bit disappointed I've still got another two weeks like this, but the sky is so much bluer now and I'm mostly just so excited for some guy that doesn't smoke to come in and take over.

So - on to lighter things. Although, I don't like the Wednesday questions very much this week because they're harder to answer.

{one} have you ever won a trophy? if yes, for what?
Um...I'm actually not sure. I don't think so. I've gotten some medals though. The one I'm most proud of is the gold in the four-by-mile at the Knights of Columbus invitational. That was my fastest mile time ever...but didn't really count since it was a relay. I still regret not ever running the steeple chase.

{two} what was your favorite subject in school?
Uhhh....okay, I had Mr. Garcia for American history, and that was a fun class, and Mr. I-don't-remember-his-name lawyer-with-the-dry-humor for government - but he was awesome so I loved the class. But I think my favorites were probably English and math - one, because I always got an 8 or 9 on my essays and just swam along, finished the math exams long before everyone else and felt smug about myself (one reason I want my kids to have an alternative education to public school is because I was not really tested at all), and two, Kevin Crimi. He was always in those classes with me and we just laughed and goofed around - SERIOUS laughter. mostly coming from me. I think he just laughed at me.

{three} what time do you get up in the morning?
Ha well when I'm not trying to be in to work a couple hours early....my first alarm goes off at 6:30. That's the time to get in a good shower. Next is at 6:45, which is a quick shower. Then 7:00, which is no shower, driving off with a bagel in hand. So, most days 7:00.

{four} if you could open your own business, what would it be?
Flower shop, duh.

{five} if you could spend the evening with one rock star/band, who would it be?
I don't like these types of questions. And, I like people's music, but I don't think I'd actually like the people. probably. My brother put some songs on a CD once. I'll have dinner with him.

{six} what sitcom character reminds you of you?
Ugh another one? I'm going to say Sydney Bristow (whether it counts or not) because it's the only show I know and I would love to be awesome. If you have a character that reminds you of me, suggest away.

{seven} what are the 3 most important things to you?
climbing trees, crushed ice, and...it's a tie between mashed potatoes and cheese.

{eight} chips or popcorn?
los dos.

{nine} have you ever ordered anything from an infomercial?
No, but when I was a kid some of those things looked soooo cooool.

{ten} what is one thing that you are grateful for today?
New guy coming in two weeks!

2010-09-11T22:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get some pretty silly ideas.

And sometimes Mike goes along with them. He's cool.

Heritage

2010-09-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

My company (not MINE, but the one, two, three I work for) just moved into a new office. It's smaller, but it doesn't have bugs, so I'm happy with it. I went back to work this week after the holiday completely swamped and drowning, truly regretting not working on Labor Day. I'd never felt that before. I hate what a full time job is turning me into: some weird working freak blob thing that doesn't know what "Don't stay too late" (from the last remaining coworker) means and that can't even uphold her heritage. Heritage? What? Yeah, I'll tell you about that part.

So I went to the bathroom, being the first one of the day, apparently (when you're pregnant, you go pee or else you're in pain, also apparently). When I pulled the flush lever nothing happened. The tank was empty, and no measure of lifting or twitching the stopper or the floaty thing worked. Crap (ha). What kind of person would turn off the water to the toilet? The GIRL'S toilet?? The guy's bathroom was working fine!

Before that matter could be solved, I needed to get rid of my nastiness (NOT the kind of person to leave that to someone else). Now, having a plumber for a father, I, naturally, know how to get a toilet to flush. And so, plumber's daughter that I am, I began to fill the tank with water from the sink...using the trash can....which, at the angle necessary, only held about two cups of water at a time before spilling out. To get the full effect, I encourage you to sit here for however long you imagine it can take me to fill a toilet tank in that manner and join me later.

Yes, the whole time I was hoping no one would need me and wonder what in the world I could be doing in there, and when it was all done there was no way I was letting anyone off the hook.
"Danielle, have you used the bathroom yet today? There's no water to the toilet!"
"Really? (walks to bathroom. looks at toilet.) Hmm. (bends down, twists a knob, tank fills)."

I'm sorry to have failed you, Daddy.

{one} what was your first pet and how did you come up with its name?
Um...I have many siblings. We never had individual pets. That is weird unless you're single or old.

{two} do you like your ice crushed or cubed?
Crushed! With a straw.

{three} do you believe in love at first sight?
Nope. That's called a crush, which is completely fine and normal. Love is different.

{four} do you have any nicknames?
When I was younger I was called Shirley-girlie and Shirley-bird by some non-family members. Family just calls me Shir. But I don't think that's really a nick-name. Just a short name.

{five} what movie do you never get tired of watching?
Peter Pan (sorry, not the Disney one) and Pride and Prejudice. And Sydney Bristow. She's not a movie, but I'll never tire of her.

{six} how do you like your eggs cooked?
All the way. I don't mind them in any form as long as there's no goopyness.

{seven} are you named after anyone in particular?
My grandma! And this is the story my grandma just told me a couple of weekends ago: "Your mom didn't want to name you Shirley. She came to me and said she didn't know why anyone would name their kid Shirley. Well that made me so mad, so I said, 'Well, you named your kid Orrin!'"

{eight} what are three things that you would like to do that you haven’t done yet?
Wipeout! Um...Grand Canyon hike con Mike. Do flower shop person stuff.

{nine} what one thing always brightens your mood?
Mike dancing around. You should see it.

{ten} what five things will you always find in your purse?
I don't know if there are five...wallet, softlips, computer back-up from work....I'm drawing a blank. I blame pregnancy brain. Or maybe the fact that I have a monster of a purse that I carry nothing in.

Pregnant Shirley

2010-09-01T17:59:00.000-07:00

I have been reprimanded. But Mike was, too, so it's okay. I am also less in the wrong, since I blog a heckuva lot more often than him.

As all the world now knows (really, to me my family is the world, since we populate half of it) a watermelon seed has sprouted in my belly, and once it's full grown on January 30, the doctor will take it out, crack it open, and inside will, hopefully, be a baby.

No, we do not intend to eat the watermelon.

Here is a list:

My watermelon is currently 18.5 weeks old, and, despite what some silly women may say, you can definitely tell.
Really, the line I've gotten from nearly every woman in the ward is, "Well I look more pregnant than you!" No, you don't, because you're not pregnant. This little belly that sprouted in the last two weeks is pregnant. Let me be pregnant without talking about your personal weight issues. Give me a couple more kids and I'll be there right with you, k? And don't even get me started on the people that say I'm too small.
I cannot handle the heat. At all. Which drives me crazy. I can't do anything!
The first time I thought I might be pregnant was when I was really only a few weeks along, I guess. I was out on a run and started hurting really bad. As I turned around and tried to walk/curl/massage it off I just kept thinking, "The baby doesn't like this run." How does that even work? And after that whenever I'd pass a store I'd have the thought to go buy pregnancy tests.
The pregnancy tests are actually a funny story: I used one, but I guess I did it wrong because nothing showed up for 15 minutes. So I used it again. According to the packaging, that disqualifies it. This time it showed pregnant pretty fast, though lightly. I knew it. Lightly pregnant. I hid it in my nightstand and walked away. A bit later, Mike walked past as I was on the floor cleaning in the hall bathroom. I said, "I think I'm pregnant."
And he kept walking.
Then he came back and said, "How so?" (or something like that) and I responded that the test said so. He made me unhide the disqualified one and take another test. I thought I would be out of pee. This one also said lightly pregnant. Mike had us read the instructions five times over to verify that's what it meant. He was sad for a day, and then he was really excited. And I was just normal.
I've noticed crazy hormones this past week. I watched the mailman pass our house one day without stopping and almost started crying. I had to laugh at myself. And lately I seem to be on the verge of tears throughout the mornings at work, which is inconvenient.
Today I wore a skirt up at my waist that used to fit on my hips. Already I can tell that I will be carrying pretty low.
The other day, Mike mapped out for me where all my weight gain has been. It added up to twenty pounds (ten being in the chest). I've gained eight total, as of last Friday anyway.
The first thing I noticed physically, before the sickness even, were the huge breasts making their home below my collar bone. No kidding.
I've grown out of all my pants but the sweats, most of my shirts, and I can also thank muffy and killer for the fact that most of my t-shirts are too small as well now.
My runs have diminished to just 1-2 miles. I get sick and overheated and my heart rate skyrockets if I try anything longer, so I don't. I run, and then I walk for longer. It's weird, walking. It's totally different muscles. Did you know I've walked a 9:30 mile before? I used to be good at that.

Perhaps I will be nice and continue to post lists.

Here is another type of list: My friend, Dawn, participates in a thingy called "Wee Bit Wednesday," and I always find myself wanting to comment on her posts with all my answers, but instead of forcing my life story on her, I'll just post it here. AND this way, maybe I'll be posting every Wednesday, if I keep up with it.

{one} what’s your favorite day of the week and why?
Saturdays? But only the ones that aren't busy with tons of Church and family stuff. Those are good, too, but the best are when Mike and I get to go out on some adventure and have the day for each other.

{two} if you could have a glimpse of your future, would you choose to see it and what time would you want to see?
Well, it'd be kinda pointless, because I already know how it's going to pan out. I mean, sure, I don't know the specifics, but those are unimportant. My future is decided by me, and I've already decided how I'll be.

{three} if you could be any animal, which animal would you be?
Have you ever heard of a dik dik? It's the tiniest little dear thing ever! But, I would probably be a monkey. I've always wanted to be able to hop and fly and climb like a monkey. After watching a news report on a girl that grew up in South Africa playing with monkeys who was an amazing rock climber because of it, I decided my family would live in South Africa. I was like eleven.

{four} do you have a lucky number?
I've always liked multiples of 4, but not 4 itself. Does that count as lucky?

{five} if you could bring one famous person back from the dead, who would it be and why?
This one's too hard. I don't care about anyone famous enough to go through that nastiness, and Jesus already brought back Lazarous, so...

{six} fill in the blank: peanut butter and ____________.
We use honey, but I really like berry jams. Or you can do like my older brothers and do a slice of bread, peanut butter, jelly, slice of bread, peanut butter, honey, slice of bread. Really quite filling.

{seven} would you rather live by the mountains or by the beach?
Mountains. I would die without my mountains. There is nothing to compare with a run or hike out there.

{eight} do you have any tattoos?
ew gross.

{nine} if you could retire tomorrow, what would you do?
Clean my house, fix dinner, plant flowers, work on a baby quilt for my friend, organize the office, make a Moses basket decision, put away the laundry - you know, house-wifey stuff I've been dying to do.

{ten} what is your favorite all time movie?
Uh....we'll just go with "Pride and Prejudice," since it's a favorite that I actually own. "Hunt for Red October" is also a love.

This top

2010-07-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

Looks like crap on this model:

but absolutely adorable on this chica:

and I super want it.

Also, I think I have the flu. unfair. and crappy.
(actually, I learned that the stomach flu or 24-hour flu have nothing to do with the real flu. I don't have the real flu. Just a fake one.)

Restructuring Marriage

2010-07-02T10:25:00.000-07:00

For the past couple of days I've read a lot of response to the situation of Barry Petersen.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

I felt the situation unfortunate until the twist at the end. I have no pity for him. He has given up all of the love and happiness that would have come from being true and from serving and staying at his wife's side. He said that the disease took away the love they shared. No. He dropped it, only to be recalled as a memory.

An article on Patheos explored the story, and the reaction to it. This was my response:

Being a member of the LDS faith, I believe that marriage and family are ordained by God. You can no more restructure or redefine marriage than you can change the eternal truths that have been since before the world was.
What I see so often is people looking at the changed times we live in and trying to make up values that fit to what they want all in the name of the old stuff not applying anymore. If that were true, then there would be no reason to read the bible or history books. But it is not true. Facts and circumstances may change, but truths and values don’t. (That’s why we have a Supreme Court to INTERPRET the Constitution for our day. Not change it.)

I also appreciated the explanations in R.C.'s thoughtful response:

I wish he hadn’t done it.
And, I think it is objectively against the moral law.
Indeed, I think the fact that I (and so many others) “wish he hadn’t done it” is instructive. As the video proceeds, one is shocked to find that he has taken up with another woman. I think that shock comes from a moral intuition which is both provided by the Holy Spirit and yet natural to man.
Likewise, a Catholic blogger — I think it was the Anchoress, but I don’t recall for certain — once spoke of the reaction of her son when she had, finally, to explain what abortion was. The boy burst into tears of disbelief and outrage and grief and said something like, “What IDIOT thought THAT up?”
A correct moral intuition, that. I takes a lot of societal propaganda, to erase those natural reactions from a healthy human heart.
So too with the current parade of publicized homosexuality (plus alternative perversions). The healthy human person has a natural aversion to such things. So the world, the flesh, and the devil conspire to propagandize against this moral intuition, to wipe it out, to anesthetize it, to kill it. Yet Chesterton says: “Let any lad who has had the luck to grow up sane and simple in his day-dreams of love hear for the first time of the cult of the Ganymede; he will not be merely shocked, but sickened. And that first impression, as has been said here so often about first impressions, will be
right.”
So, moral intuitions can help us identify the objective truths of the moral law. But this is difficult when our society propagandizes against the moral law, and thus confuses and clouds and drowns out these intuitions.
It is for this reason that Barry Petersen was largely morally guiltless in doing it. Although it is objectively against the moral law, our society has done an excellent job propagandizing the populace against the contents of the moral law with regards to sexuality and marriage and duty and fidelity and the notion that life is not, after all, solely about our personal temporal gratification. And that kind of pervasive propaganda is difficult to disregard when one never or rarely hears alternative voices.
Thus, while Petersen probably had distant stirrings of unease in his soul about the choice, they were quite likely drowned out in a confident understanding, shared by all balanced and sensible persons, that his actions were acceptable. Lacking, then, any clear mandate to do otherwise, he began a romantic relationship with someone other than his wife. He was doing something entirely morally permissible, according to the light he was given — once that light had filtered its way through the smog of Western Civilization’s decay into moral relativism.
One of the benefits of churchgoing is that when we “lift up our hearts,” we lift them above the general level of that smog. (Mostly. Sometimes, sadly, a lot of fog emanates from pulpits and ambos and lecterns.) C.S.Lewis said that Christians in this fallen world are living in occupied territory, but that we go to church to “listen to secret wireless messages from our friends outside” …as we wait in joyful hope for the True King to come in, armies in tow and banners aflying, to destroy the usurper and rid the place up.
Anyway, whether it is by increased altitude or encoded radio messages, we get beyond the propaganda through contact with the truth. Has Petersen had any such contact? Maybe, maybe not. But if he hasn’t, then I can’t hold him very much at fault. He doesn’t know; he can’t know. It’s like being raised in Orwell’s 1984 under Big Brother. If you never meet anyone who doesn’t think 2+2=5, then over time, it’s hard to maintain the stubborn belief that it’s 4. If Petersen has never heard of sacramental marriage, explained by people who can articulate it well and take it seriously, what then?
“If I had not spoken to them, they would have no guilt; I have spoken to them: Their guilt remains” said Jesus. The principle seems pretty clear.

I really like when I can see that there are still so many people that are faithful and moral, despite what the media and entertainment would have you believe is the majority.

AMEN!

2010-05-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 5:20
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
(It even has an exclamation point!)

From the Boston Globe:
George Washington’s parents no doubt took pride in his childhood honesty, but therein may lie the reason he was among the least intellectual of the Founding Fathers. A Canadian study last week declared that children who lie are actually showing their mental acuity and creativity. “Parents should not be alarmed if their child tells a fib,’’ Kang Lee, director of the Institute of Child Study at the University of Toronto, told the Telegraph of London. In fact, children who are making things up at age 2 have fast-developing brains, which portend greater intellectual achievements. Thomas Jefferson, whose genius sometimes led him down a twisty path around the truth, may have been an example. So might his mentally agile successor, William Jefferson Clinton. As for Washington — perhaps there’s a new explanation for why he confessed, in the great Parson Weems legend, to chopping down the cherry tree: Maybe young George just couldn’t come up with a good enough cover story.
_._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._

ARE

YOU

SERIOUS?

And since when was Jefferson considered a liar? And really? Bill Clinton? Mentally agile? No. Liars are people that are not smart enough to do the right thing in the first place. Or ever.

Bill Clinton, Obama, all the other liars will be forgotten. Washington, and his deeds and reputation, will be remembered forever.
(Ha, I just reminded myself of "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die" from Sandlot. But it has nothing to do with this.)

And just to carry on, here are some of the following verses:
21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!
23 Which justify the wicked for reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him!
24 Therefore as the fire devoureth the stubble, and the flame consumeth the chaff, so their root shall be as rottenness, and their blossom shall go up as dust: because they have cast away the law of the Lord of hosts, and despised the word of the Holy One of Israel.

truth.

2010-05-21T13:53:00.001-07:00

I have never burned rice. I've never used a rice maker, but my rice always turns out perfect and fluffy. unless it's instant rice. While convenient, instant rice never comes out "perfect."

I assigned the lamest and most annoying ring tone to the blood bank's number so I would know when it was them (and know to not answer. They never understand when I tell them I'll set up my appointments online). The problem with this is that they call at the most inconvenient times when I never expect the call, and when there are plenty around to be interrupted by the loudest, lamest, most annoying ring tone. I keep meaning to change that.

My nephew was born this morning. He doesn't have a name yet. In my head he's "Number 25." Or Jesus (spanish pronunciation). His parents are Joseph and Mary.

I grant everything the right to live except cockroaches and earwigs. and the huge ugly palm tree in our front yard. no right.

I suck at pac man.

excitation = throwing a baby shower!

Easter Excitations

2010-03-25T12:37:00.000-07:00

warmth!

baskets

chocolate covered ruffles

conference

chow mein nests

grandma's

Jesus

new traditions

pageant and Nielsen's

frilly kids' outfits

BRAND NEW HOUSE!!

Helping the N(gr)eedy

2010-03-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

**please note that this post has been in my drafts for about a week and I'm posting it to get it out and done with so I can post about other things. I haven't even read through it and that means it's jumpy and none of it flows (please don't kill me, because I'm hating myself enough for it already)**

Remember the Plan of Salvation? How we come to this earth and whoever does all they can and takes the right steps can apply the atonement to their lives and receive exaltation? Good plan, huh? Almost divine, right? Please keep this idea in mind as you read the following:

At my company we hired a receptionist through the reservation employment system. I didn’t even know it was possible before for a receptionist position, but this girl turned out to be highly unqualified. We really did try to teach her things and to work with her and to get her to work, but I guess after being raised on government charity she had no incentive to leave it. In the end she spent the majority of her work day cruising the internet, watching online videos, filling the office with her horrible music choices (unforgivable), and clogging up the company’s unlimited long distance line (we deal with reservations outside 480/602/623) talking to her boyfriend. When asked about a task requested hours ago, she would revert back to a simple assignment from days before, briefly, before returning to her diversions. We’re pretty forgiving people when it comes to some personal internet time taken at work, but it’s upsetting when you’re just downright lazy. Pretty soon we all were pretty sick of it and the bosses said it was time to go.

My recommendation was to just fire her, as we had plenty of good reason, but the decision was made to lay her off since her wages earned and time worked wouldn’t qualify her for unemployment benefits anyway, and saying, “because you’re lazy and did a lousy job” is pretty hard to say to someone’s face. I can understand that. Understanding that, though, changes nothing in the facts that I now have to deal with and fight her unemployment application.

It was while grumbling about this to myself that I started thinking about how messed up all this is.

We tell our citizens, “There’s no need for you to save or plan for a day when you won’t have that income. Go and spend all you make, get into debt even, ‘cause hey, when that’s gone and you have bills to pay and bellies to feed and those evil credit card companies come after you for payment, we’ve got you covered!” When a person loses his job the first action is to go file for your rightful unemployment before even considering looking at the job market. Why? Because it’s free money duh! And the next step, of course, is to go get your other welfare checks. This receptionist of ours received food stamps money, and nearly every day walked into the office with a five-dollar bag of gas station chips or some other assortment of snacks they charge you triple for. Does that look/sound/smell like she’s someone down on her luck and in need working her way out of a slump? Or is that more like a gross waste of the money taken straight out of my paycheck? I hope you like those chips because I just worked an hour for you to have them. You’re welcome.

But don’t think I haven’t forgotten the other side, that there actually are those that are truly needy, those that I would give my week’s pay to without even thinking (which is why I’m not allowed to carry cash). And older friend of mine is the one in his family that they always default back to for help. When he lost his job due to the construction decline in AZ and, though actively searching, was out of work for over nine months, unemployment insurance, though not much, helped to feed his family. In the income lapse, they gave up extracurriculars and more. They budgeted. How is it, though, that we can help the needy and weed out the greedy?

The church has it figured out. If only the government could run like the church. It can't, though. Two main reasons I can think of: head is not Christ, 99% of things done in/for the church is by voluntary workers. Still, I often think of ways to fix government programs by basing them on church programs. Am I a nerd for that? You'll probably think me more of a nerd when I admit that one thing I really look forward to in General Conference is hearing the church audit report. It is a huge testimony builder to me to hear an independent audit team give the Church an unqualified opinion, and that internal controls are in place and not surpassed, and that my tithing money is being used according to the Lord's wishes. It lets me know that the system really works. Sadly, I don't have that same faith in the government, neither state nor federal.

Mike and I work hard to be self-sufficient. We appreciate nice things, but we can also do without. When our receptionist asked one day if it was okay for her to pay me back the lended gas money another day I said, “oh I didn’t even think of it!” And then, not wanting it to sound to someone that doesn’t have a lot like we’re so rolling that I don’t even miss ten bucks from my wallet, said, “Oh we just don’t ever spend money or go shopping really. Most of the stuff in our apartment is borrowed or second-hand and half of my wardrobe is from high school.” She was surprised, but it’s true. Although we’re earning more right now than we ever have (you know, in the whole year we’ve been married), our spending will not go up. We are not extravagant with our choices and keep things realistic. We are getting a house that is at only half of what we could qualify for, but that we consider to be the best choice for us.

Even with all our frugality, though, after all we can do there are still times when we need to turn to family for help. When we were moving into an apartment and had zero furniture. When we needed a car to use until we had the cash to fix ours. When we needed some money to pay tuition up front instead of getting a loan. Our family and friends have been there, and I think that’s how it’s supposed to work.

I wish people would stop thinking we are a welfare country, that it is a responsibility of the government to provide for you when you can't or refuse to.

To finally be finished, I like the following quotes, whether they apply to this or not:

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have," Gerald R. Ford in an address to a joint session of Congress on August 12, 1974.

"If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same."
-Ronald Reagan

(can you guess which way my political affiliation tends?)

"Because I'm AWESOME!": by Jessica

2010-03-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

My sister-in-law, Jessica, posted the following story about my nephew on her blog and I wanted to share it:

"Yesterday, Tyler brought home this paper from school.

We were sitting discussing it at dinner and I asked if the teacher had written

"I would rather be a_______"

on the board for them to complete. Tyler was all kinds of impressed that I could have guessed that (I am occasionally impressive...but it was the word "rather" that gave it away!! What kindergartner says "rather"...and spells it right!)!

So we talked for a little while about what the other kids wrote. Then Vern asked Tyler,"Why did you say that you would rather be you instead of something else?" Tyler shrugged and said (as if it was the simplest answer in the world),"Well, because I'm so AWESOME!!"

I still can't help laughing every time I remember it and smiling because I love that my son thinks he's AWESOME!! At least I know I'm not the only one!! hahaha!!"

I'm pretty glad I get to be a me over anything else. It's the most fun.

threes

2010-02-26T14:53:00.000-08:00

Growing up I had a friend named Katie, but I would call her about twenty different names. One I remember was Catalina, that nasty orange dressing I’ve always been too afraid to try, though it wasn’t meant to be offensive. We were weirdos. Maybe that’s where I got my start.

Katie my old friend tagged me on her blog a bit ago, which was new. The only kind of tagged I’ve ever been was in a playground setting, and then I wasn’t always the person people wanted to choose. I was only mildly cool (like I said, weirdo), and I wanted to win too badly. Kids would cry after having to hold my hand in line in red rover. I didn’t understand why they would have preferred to let go and let the kid through. Didn’t they know anything about sacrifice?

So I’ve been tagged. My plan was to completely vamp it up and post with pictures instead of words, but then I became controller person at work and that idea flopped along with my brain at the end of each day. So, instead, here is my very normalized taggy thingy:

3 names I go by:
1. shirl - a vestige of sweet high school friends
2. shirley elizabeth - the name two of my siblings have consistently called me, which became my online presence in the past couple of years
3. babe - only one person can get away with it

3 jobs I have had:
1. Teacher’s Assistant/Daycare Leader at a Jewish charter school – first job ever
2. Nanny – miss that family tons
3. Accounting person for construction companies – oh the intriguing life I lead

3 places I have lived:
1. Carol Ann Way house – if only I had $300k to buy it off my parents. And then a hundred thousand more to fix it up. Hmm, maybe not.
2. With siblings – only the coolest would let you invade on their families at a point in life when you desperately need out of your parents’ house, but your parents won’t let you out for real yet
3. The “number 1” house – before getting hitched, I lived with roommates in a house with the street number 1.

3 favorite drinks:
1. Water? – I don’t drink much else.
2. Strawberry lemonade – unless I go to a restaurant
3. Am I supposed to be listing alcohol? How ‘bout pomegranate juice?

3 TV shows I watch:
1. Alias – of course, it’s over and long gone, in fact I hadn’t even seen an episode till years after the finale, but when I’ve had a long week or have a ton of laundry to fold I like to stick in a season and watch some on my laptop.
2. Pushing Daisies – yes, it’s over, too. It only lasted for a season and a half, sadly. It was the only show that I actually watched while it was playing.
3. Basketball – by now you can probably tell I’m not a big fan of TV, but thanks to my husband I have probably seen more sports in the past year than most guys.

3 places I have been:
1. Around Scandinavia – I nannied.
2. The top of Brighton – spent a lot of time there figuring out snowboarding with frozen toes. Arizona’s mountains are smaller, but so much more comfortable.
3. Jerome Idaho – small place with family that I love love loved to visit in summers growing up

3 people who text me regularly:
regularly as in I can count on it?
1. Mike
2. Verizon. Twice a month.

3 favorite foods:
1. mashed potatoes – preferably with gravy. or lots of butter.
2. chicken ‘n’ dumplings – except the dumplings are biscuits. mmmm maybe that’s what’s for dinner.
3. dice a tomato, dice an avocado, dice some cheese, mix it all in Italian dressing and eat on crackers (wet each cracker some in the dressing) or just shovel it in with a fork.

3 favorite books:
1. Ella Enchanted – don’t watch the movie. It has nothing to do with what’s actually in the book and is terrible.
2. Anything by Jane Austen or the Bronte’s – I really can’t count how many times I’ve read each of their books.
3. Most fantasy or historical fiction books.

3 favorite colors:
1. green – I’m in love with nearly every shade. and it looks good on me.
2. yellow – this was my favorite color growing up. I think because I felt bad for it because none of the other kids liked it. Actually I know that’s why.
3. uh…let’s go with shades of blue. Where would we be without our trusty blue jeans?

3 favorite hobbies:
1. Running/hiking/climbing – did you not know?
2. Reading – Mike watches sports (and does homework, suckah!), I pull out a book. I’ve recently had to spend some of our money on new books since I’ve read every one we own a couple times just since we’ve been married.
3. Baking/cooking and even washing the dishes I use, but I detest drying them so much that lately my sink has been full of unwashed dishes.

3 things you can always find in my refrigerator:
1. cheese – always.
2. moldy leftovers
3. jar of jam we got with some wedding stuff – I think we’ve used it once or twice

3 things I do every day:
1. cut myself somewhere in some way – it’s inevitable
2. eat/drink – I really can’t think of what I do every day
3. ponder on the cosmos

3 things I am good at:
1. reading aloud
2. accounts payable
3. dutch oven meals – I’m discovering I’ve a talent

I Cut Myself

2010-02-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

FYI:
Applying for jobs on the internet is one of the worst processes imaginable (I had originally just said “sucks,” but then thought better of my public-use language). There is zero initial personal contact and no way to follow-up since it is rare that a company will post any kind of contact information. How is a potential employee to make any kind of impression on a company if there is no contact? I have to just hope that people are interested enough in my name to look at the rest of my resume. Speaking of my name, which I have always always adored and never would part with, I am terrified that people will just skip over my application, thinking me to be an old lady. And then, after not receiving any reply on any of the fifty positions you’ve sent your resume to, you start to question whether all those things about your experience and abilities you’ve nicely arranged together into a document are really as great as you originally thought. And what is up with employers not realizing what an accountant is worth? So many of the positions say they expect you to do everything a controller would do, along with having a degree and required years of experience, and also perform the duties of the receptionist and office manager on top of that. And……they only want to give you $11-$13 for it, based on your experience of course. Seriously?? I can understand that many of these companies are smaller, and might require their controller to be a Jack-of-all-trades (something I’m pretty good at), but at least be willing to give worthy compensation.
Alas, the internet is my only option at this point, since I still have to show up every day at the cruddy 8-5 job I’m trying to get out of.

That was a ton of switching of my tenses. Forgive, as I would not forgive you. Cop it up to the mush my brain is becoming from working in the general area of our new receptionist and her terrible music. Oh, the songs I now have memorized that I never would have cared to listen to in the first place! I want to shout out for five minutes of peace from the same songs we’ve been listening to for two weeks, every day, multiple times a day, every minute of the day. The hour between eight and nine, before she shows up, is now sacred to me. It brings me to repent of ever considering listening to local radio stations again.

On Sunday I made some white chili and it was delicious, of course. In the process, I cracked my crock pot down the middle trying to use it as a dutch oven. As a result, today I am borrowing a pot from a friend for a pot roast. I especially like these friends, and their squeezable little boy. They are great examples to me of using what you have and making do, even though you might have money at the time to spend on a nice TV or a bigger house or a Le Creuset dutch oven in every color and size.

Oh how my cooking would be so much more lovely, and I’ll even warrant tasty, with the use of one of these. Other things my kitchen yearns for? A kitchenaid. A gas stove-top. A(n organized) spice cabinet full of spices. KNIVES. Do you know what it’s like to work with nice knives? I have once upon a time. Oh glory. Imagine the chopping and dicing and slicing and splicing and everything else you can do with a good knife. Now also imagine the blood and the cuts and the bandages and scabs.
Yeah…Mike sometimes grounds me from knives, or says I have to ask him first if I can use one. I don’t even know how it happens, but all of the sudden my skin will be split and Mike will be shaking his head at me again. On average, I will come away from work with 1 – 2 paper/cardboard/manila folder/staple/anythingmyhandsmightpass cuts a day. I’m not so sure getting shiny, sharp, cuts-through-quarters knives is an option Mike would consider.

So, I’ll just make do with what we’ve got. And what we’ve got isn’t too bad. My hand mixer is able to handle most things I make. Our second-hand monster of a TV (though Mike may protest) works great for our needs. A bookshelf for a pantry is actually kinda cool (at least it throws off company). Our noisy, crappy cars will last us. My leaking Camelbak works great if I don’t fill it all the way. Our clothes from eight seasons ago still fit. A tiny, old house can suit us just fine. And we’re just as happy as if we had otherwise.

Tell me...

2010-02-03T07:48:00.001-08:00

...does this chica :

look more like :

I was told I was rude for suggesting C. But I think it rather flattering. I mean, she's older, but dang, if I could look like that at her age....

Our Son, Daniel

2010-01-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

I love amazing stories that shake you inside, even the ones that make you cry (sometimes especially). They're...renewing. i think.

I have a friend named Daniel Kanyaruhuru. If you're stumbling over his last name, take it slowly. It's phonetic. I met Daniel my freshman year of high school, which was also his first year at my school, and even here in the states, and even in this hemisphere, though he was in my older sister's grade. Daniel had come to us through much adversity, through much heartbreak, and really through Hell. My cross country coach, who has a big heart and learned of these young African boys being brought here through a relief effort, sought them out and asked them to come be apart of our team family. Daniel ended up trashing us all, and leaving the state competition in his dust.

My best friend from high school, Miss Chelsea Fiske, put together a documentary for a school project and shares Daniel's story.

Our Son, Daniel from Chelsea Fiske on Vimeo.

All of us who have been with him from the start are crossing our fingers and holding our breath. And, if you happen to catch the distance races and see him on your TV, cheer extra loud.

You Didn't Know Me When

2010-01-25T10:45:00.000-08:00

There was a time in my life (like what, a year ago?) that I could and would willingly (almost) forgo sleep for two to four days. Call me crazy, but it was all in the name of my education. and my social life. which was really just a million guy friends I had that took turns being more. yeah, I may or may not have been one of those. We don’t talk about that.

There was also a time in my life that I nannied a cute little girl. Actually it was the same time. And actually she would take turns being cute and being a terror, like any kid, I’m sure. But I mostly just like to try to remember the cute part.

One very tired day I was working with the cute little girl through her homework. I slightly leaned against the counter while waiting for her to complete a worksheet. Then her mom was at my side, tapping my shoulder asking if I was okay. I was very confused. Here was the cutie and her mom next to me, and there was the completed worksheet. It was as if a little gap of my life had just been sliced out. But really it wasn’t that dramatic at all.

I had fallen asleep. right there. at work. standing up. The cute little girl had quietly finished her work (a new thing), called my name a couple of times, then gone and grabbed her mom saying that something was wrong with Shirley. A very worried mother/boss found me there asleep on my feet.

I was just thinking of this recently. I still don’t believe it’s possible. How absurd is it that someone can sleep standing up? I think a more reasonable explanation is that I was abducted by aliens for an unknown period of time, that on earth only calculated to be about ten minutes. This fact suddenly makes so many things clear.

Sit down, it's a long haul

2010-01-19T10:57:00.001-08:00

I had forgotten how much children know.

It’s been a while since I’ve really been surrounded by little kids. Of course, I have a million nieces and nephews that I get to hang out with all the time, but I definitely haven’t had the interaction that I used to. I did other stuff, like live on my own, get married, and spend a lot more time with the older youth, the teenagers. Being an EFY Counselor was tons of fun, and, since then, my callings have been with the youth.

When thought upon, this fact is a little strange to me, because growing up in my house at the time I did, I didn’t really learn much about interacting with teenagers. Even as a teenager. I was the utmost of awkward. And still am. Very non-teenagery.

A couple of Sundays ago they called me into the Primary. the secretary. Where did that come from? It was a big surprise to me. I’m really going to miss my girls and the fun that was to be had this coming year. Actually I was pretty sad about it at first, and super intimidated by the greatness of the person I was taking over for, but after some time mapping out the database I’m creating, and after my first Sunday in the calling, I’m freakin’ excited. freakin’.

And, I realize again how much I love hanging out with kids, and how crazy much they know. They are smart little boogers. I will have to make sure that I don’t underestimate them.
_____________________________________________

(above line denotes a subject change)

Mike and I visited my Aunt and Uncle and family up in Idaho for Thanksgiving. This family is really the only connection with my mom’s (biological mother) side of the family that I’ve ever known. They are the awesome.

In her simple goodbye at the end of the trip my aunt gave me something huge to consume my mind. For all of growing-upness, I have always been told how much I look like my mom. This always makes me very happy and prideful.

This is not a picture of me and my sister from some years back. Nor even my sister and other sister from some couple more years back. It is a picture of my mom and her sister from some many more years back. Cool, huh? So, as I said, people that knew my mom are sure to tell me of how I look so much or just like her. It is a common statement that I have heard from my aunt growing up. But this year she said something a little different. She told me not only of how I look like my mother, but also of how I am so much like her in character. We both always get teary at these goodbye moments, but this came at me with special force, and it was what was on my mind for the greater part of the twenty-six hour drive home.

I am like my mother? A new thought. I was reeling. I wondered how I could be so much like someone that I’ve never actually known.

To me, my mom has always been something of a saint. I have been given this impression by reading through her journal, the talks at her funeral, and through people’s personal stories and impressions, told both in writing and verbally. Everything is amazing, everything is kind, everything is adorable, everything is beautiful. Something I’ve come to understand is that all these things aren’t just said nice and prettily because she’s dead, but because there is nothing else that honestly comes to mind to say of her. In her journal she is always striving, always humble.

And now you are told that you are like this person. Does that not bring tears of incredulity? I will not own up to such a charge, though I thrill thinking of it, but will now talk of a couple of things I have learned from pondering this.

FACTS: I am related to my mom. There are some things that she has passed down to me that naturally reside in me, and some of these things are more than physical manifestations. I have learned things about her from reading about her, reading her own words, and from talking to people that knew and were close to her. I have always striven to harness the same traits I know her to have. There have been times when I have felt my mother’s love or approval or protection, or when I have applied to her personally.

TRUTHS: We are related to our Heavenly Father. Just as we inherit qualities from our parents, there is an inherited divinity in each of us. We can come to learn of and develop this divinity from research. We have the scriptures, we have apostles and prophets, we have leaders and family members. All of these may tell of experience and testimony. But beyond that, we can also come to be like our Heavenly Father through developing our own relationship with Him. He is not physically present here, but the relationship we can find with our Father will be far more personal and deep than those we have known with those with whom we interact daily.

My Typical Dilemma...(and solution)

2009-12-18T17:23:00.000-08:00

Am I allowed to wear to tonight's party what I wore to last night's party, which is also what I wore to work Tuesday?

I think I can get away with it.

2009-12-04T15:54:00.000-08:00

Only having had time to grab a little novelty sorbet and a granola bar this morning before work, I have been starving all day. It is now five. It was only just a couple of minutes ago that I realized I had my uneaten lunch from yesterday still in the fridge. So, of course, I am currently stuffing my face, despite the plans of going to dinner with Mike at six.

Nostalgia

2009-12-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time I had a very adorable cake platter (among my many platters. I love platters) that was my favorite and I loved. It even looked good just on display with nothing on it. But a terrible thing happened one day when I dropped it and it broke. into three pieces. and I would have cried if my sister and her family had not been there.

So recently I've been looking around to see if that cake pedestal is still on the market, you know, since it's Christmas and I could maybe get away with saying purchasing a replacement can be a Christmas present. Unfortunately, I haven't found it. But look at this adorable one I did see on the Crate and Barrel website:

And look! Matching plates!

How adorable would it be to serve up on those? There are also matching bowls to the set, that would be so fun to serve frozen pleasures in. Gee whiz, the world is full of beautiful things.

Public Announcement

2009-11-30T12:44:00.000-08:00

I am of the firm belief that many of today's styles make girls look stumpy. I see it on blogs, online clothing stores, and in public everywhere, and I have a great fear for society because of it. Please, whatever you do, avoid the stumpiness.

this message brought to you by shirley elizabeth

Noteworthy

2009-11-24T08:42:00.000-08:00

Today is Tuesday and it is the last day of my work-week.

*hallelujah*

Tonight Mike and I are skipping town and setting off for places far more cold (regrettably). By this time tomorrow we will be catching up some sleep at my sister’s in Provo, and by sunset Wednesday should be pulling into my Aunt and Uncle’s place in southern Idaho. All of this (minus the cold) puts me into a very good mood, despite the fact that I was up way too late putting audio books on Mike’s iPod for the trip and woke up with just enough time to not put on any make-up and head out the door. For this reason, I am going to take a couple minutes (waiting to use our super slow printer here at work) and will share with you some of the things making me smile:

•My yawns are so big my that throat makes frog noises at the climax.

•I noticed that Jamyn (our intern, “jammin”) looks very good in the boots she is wearing today. She has good shaped legs for boots. I don’t see that often.

•We received more holiday basket magazines today. I love shredding.

•Mike texted me: thanks for not being super lame/trendy at life. I like that about you.
•He is cool

•Thursday night I found these long-sleeved blouses (yes Heidi, I said blouses – but I don’t know what else to call them!) that fit me amazingly comfortably and sexylike for only $6.50 each and I now own four colors and have worn at least one every day since then. And probably will for the rest of winter. I only wish they had more colors.

•I just realized that I haven’t yet zipped my zipper today.

•One of our trades that would like to gain back our favor just walked in the door (as I type) (and zip my zipper) with two boxes of donuts for us. Among two boxes there’s got to be ONE that I won’t turn my nose up at!

•Ooh just think about all the goodies trades will be sending/bringing us for the holidays! One of the pluses of working for a general contractor around Christmas.

•Mike's the smartest guy I know and fixed our speedometer!

•My Aunt and Uncle have an amazing house and yard/field area. It’s been years since I’ve been there! Although…I’ve never visited in the winter….kinda scared.

•Our printer at the office that acts as a perpetual dog whistle will soon be replaced.

•Road tripping with Mike!!

i want

2009-11-18T15:54:00.000-08:00

… to not have to sing tonight. or perform at all.

… daylight to stay longer. darn solstices.

… to watch alias. i miss sydney.

… saturday to be here already. for real.

… mike.

… to tell a someone a something secret that i can’t tell yet.

… time to read the library books i’ve got before they’re due.

… to quote hook right now.

… something salty.

… to not have to deal with work.

… a smoothie. or perhaps a mushy.

… sleep. naturally.

For such a special occassion

2009-11-11T14:10:00.000-08:00

I’m not really all that inclined to blogging. I often think of things that are noteworthy (I would say), but I’m most likely to either keep it to myself, tell Mike about it, or write it in my journalnotebookthingy. Also, though not often verbally expressed, I have very strong opinions, and writing about very strong opinions requires a well thought and flawlessly written argument. The instances that I have actually taken the time to write out my flawless argument about a topic, I afterward decide that, for various reasons, I am better off keeping it to myself. I have many drafts that will never be posted.

So I then wonder how it is that I have any posts at all, and what circumstances bring me to write one. Today I will attribute it to the fact that I have been super annoyed with work lately, have been super surprised every time that I remember it's still only Wednesday, am super in love with Michael, and am super craving a red-flavored frozen burrito.

During the summer my friend came to me and said, “Shirley I really need your help, come work with me for five days.” So I did. It really was a huge mess, and five days turned into over a month and eventually they offered me a full-time position (although it wasn’t as smooth as that. I worked through lunch and even evenings at home for the small pay I told my friend I’d help him out at, and they finally decided it was time to stop taking advantage of me when I started applying for other jobs.). Since I have worked here, they have fired/lost three people and hired two (not including me). I actually think that the people they have finally settled on can be a very strong and successful team. Let me introduce them to you:

First you have William. He is the fourth (I think) Controller of the company since its birth, two years ago, and my friend from school. We enjoy making swords out of used 10 key tape and discussing the time that we will take over all of the incompetent accounting departments in the world, starting with GRIC. It is probably best to describe him as having the sweetest and most adorable wife and little girl.

Tessa is our Office Manager, whose job it is to respond to the owner’s texts at 3 in the morning on a Sunday and stress over completing the bosses, often silly, demands. Every Tuesday she tells us a new story. My favorite will always be the one where she proudly brought her graham cracker crust pie to a family party to be told by her mother-in-law that you’re supposed to crush the graham crackers, and second is probably the time she tried to cook a steak in the storage drawer under the oven. She just recently found out that she is pregnant with her third and completely unplanned for child and wishes she could talk her husband into naming it Lyric Ryce if it is a boy.

Todd is cool. He is our Estimator and has three daughters under 10 that each probably play softball better than me, not that I’m saying that’s a big feat. He’s an A-league softball man himself and has a goatee. He likes to give me his leftover french-fries from lunch and never tires of staring at me over the half wall that encircles my desk until I notice and jump out of my skin. He has great patience, and I swear I hear him count backwards from ten every time Colby calls him “T-rod.”

Colby and Jaafe (jayph) are the bosses. I’m not all the way entirely sure what they do. It sometimes seems rare to see them in the office for more than ten minutes at a time, always leaving (if they came in the first place) with the same “hold down the fort, Shirley” joke, and when they are gone often call and ask me to look up directions to somewhere, though they pay for the ability to do that on their phones. I can only assume that they are off making business acquaintances or at job sites. The two think that the sole purpose of their fifty-inch computers (okay that might be an exaggeration) is for watching hunting videos and country westerns on YouTube, and consider “black-tie” to be a cowboy hat, a plaid button-down, and one of their 200 pairs of designer, dry-cleaned jeans. Colby likes to talk about the unwritten "agreements" he has with project owners in regards to profit numbers, and we can always tell when Jaafe has been in the office by the icicles hanging from our desks because he was warm and turned the air down to 50.

I am Shirley and I do stuff and have a zit on my forehead today.

In other news, check out these pictures from my phone:

to answer your question

2009-10-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

If I were to say why, half of the world, and very likely you, would be highly offended. I just don't care for or subscribe to any of that, and I'll probably always be a disappointment to you because I don't ever plan to. Indeed, my present self would be ashamed of my future self if I ever were to.
Yet what would my future self know? People aren't the type that, in the moment, consider their actions or ideas to be silly or foolish or needing to be checked; that is why so much silly, foolish, and unchecked things or notions get done or inspired.
Granted, there is much silly- and foolishness that I partake in: like eating crackers and cheese right before bed, spilling milk in the car, or spending an entire week of evenings reading my Austen and Bronte classics instead of attending to the negelcted kitchen or cluttered rooms.
But there are just some types of foolishness I hope to always avoid, and if there are steps I can take to make that hope more certain, then I definitely will take them two at a time.

In other news, I have little regard for my bosses. Luckily the people I work with are respectable.

and, three of my beautiful nails broke today. but the fact that I had them is applaudable. Seven out of ten doesn't look too tacky.

I'M DOING THIS

2009-09-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

And I can't frickin' wait! But really I have to. Till February.

Now, as some people may know, I love and live to run. More than Mike does for college football (mine's year round! beat that!). I sometimes truly honestly wish that I could quit work and just concentrate on my running and being awesome. Honestly, I am not very good -- but I absolutely strive to be. I can run for a pretty long time. I have the endurance to be able to pick up and run an hour after not running for a long time, and I have a level enough head (or maybe it's the opposite) to be able to stand/love an upwards of three hour run when in shape and 80 mile weeks (though I haven't done that since getting engaged). Can you imagine how amazing it would be to be a real runner and just run all the time and do 200 mile weeks? makes my shoulders go weak.

SO. My excitement: I am going to be one of a twelve-woman team to run 36 legs of a 202-mile relay race from Prescott to Mesa. One plus of the course is that it's coming back down into the valley, so there'll be plenty of downhill! Looking at the course map, though, there will be plenty of tough legs, too.

TO MY FAMILY: I hope to claim leg 23 because it passes right by my parents' house out in carefree, and I expect everyone to be out there cheering me on - even if it's at three in the morning.

See? The little black circle is their house, and the red line covering the Carefree Highway is leg 23. Just as I said: right by. If you zoom out it looks a lot closer.

TO MIKE'S FAMILY: Lap 36 (the very last lap) runs right by your house -- even more right by than my parents'. I would draw on another map image, but it would be so zoomed in order to see just how close it passes that people would be able to see in your windows, and that's not safe to post on the internet. We'll just suffice it to say that it is within a two-minute's walk of your front door, right on McClellan and Grand. I do not quite feel comfortable asking for the last leg of the race, since I think that might belong to the captain, but I'll be there all the same.

Is this not the coolest thing? If you want to run....I can see if we're still wanting girls. I don't know yet who all is on the team, or if we even have 12 yet.

Also, to be cool and see cool stuff, visit http://www.ragnarrelay.com/.

What I Pass Up

2009-09-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

The debut Kate Spade clothing line is out. It's beautiful. I got to research Kate Spade for my entrepreneurship class last semester. It's a pretty cool/interesting story. From an entrepreneur standpoint.

My life would be a little more sweet with this cardigan. I am infatuated with it, quite literally. I keep a window open in one of my tabs at work and sometimes click over to it just to look at it again.

The problem is that I will never own it. The price of ownership is the same as six months of internets, or 13 tanks of gas, or the cost of repairing my laptop keyboard, or about a million dinners, or the collective cost of all of the wedding presents we will buy till this time next year.

I don't think I could ever really feel right about owning/wearing something - just one little article of clothing - with such a high price. Actually I take that back. I've worn expensive gifts and not felt too bad. I don't think I could feel right about actually buying it. It's not just that I would feel guilty about spending so much on myself or one thing, I would feel less personal integrity. There are things to spend money on, and a wardrobe that makes me feel beautiful is one of those, but I know my Heavenly Father (and heck, my earthly father) is counting on me to find a way to use my resources to help my family and others around me, not just me. But with these ideas and feelings, why am I cursed with such expensive taste? It just makes it so I never buy anything.

And maybe I take this too far, or maybe we're just poor, but seriously, I bought some tan pants, a couple pair of jeans, and some tank tops for EFY last summer, and then the next time I bought any clothing, except for my wedding dress, was my graduation outfit (this past May). Is that sad? I'm getting better though, 'cause I bought a few things with my birthday dinero from mis padres a couple weeks ago.

To close this post up, I will tell of my solution to the cardigan problem. I'm sure I could find a good, adorable cardigan with the same bracelet sleeves for $30-50. Then it's all a matter of cutting up felt into those cute flowers, stitching them in with little beads, and probably replacing whatever buttons it has to be as cute as the ones in the picture. And if I ever get around to finding, cutting, and stitching, I could invite you over to make your own. Though it would obviously have to be in different colors.

Separate Thoughts

2009-08-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

I think I am different from some people. Right now anyway.

Work has been really busy and crazy. And really good. I work hard there.

My "Y" key is still off my keyboard. It's because I'm a Sun Devil for life.

There is a giant spider in my office. He hangs out under a skylight all day long and then the next day is on the other side of the room under another skylight.

I love my husband a really lot.

I love my china a really lot. I really wish that my pedastal cake dish was not dead.

I have been running more lately than a doctor would let me if we had the monies to go to one. But just on dirt and if I have to cross over concrete or asphalt I walk or hop across on my left foot.

My co-worker's name is Yvette. She also answers to "you bet."

My apartment smells different everytime I walk in it.

I really like the book I'm reading to Mike right now. I like it more than he does. He doesn't like books as much as I do.

Mike needs a haircut soon.

Lately, the easiest/best-looking hairstyle for me is a low, messy fluted bun. or two. with a ribbon around my head. I think I've been wearing ribbons in my hair for always.

In high school this girl made fun of my ribbons. I don't remember if I cared or not.

Cows. Gee whiz.

I love throws so much. We got some for our wedding and had some already. So now we have a bunch. And I love them so much. I only use one throw, though.

Playing a piano is better than playing a keyboard, but playing a keyboard is better than not playing a piano.

We won't buy a house for a while. We don't see any reason to, and rather think it would be foolish.

I like when people get married.

There's a big patch of drywall replaced on our wall. I wonder what happened.

2009-08-05T21:14:00.000-07:00

I recently (yesterday) got a new phone to replace my poor chocolate, which has chunks missing out of it from the many times it has gone flying across various parkng lots. While transferring my pictures over, I realized I have a lot of this one little kid, so I decided to tell you all about him.

This is my nephew Carter. He is one of many (many many many), but he is seen so often on my phone because I lived with him and his parents for a year. His cutest year.

Here is a list about things that Carter likes:

Carter likes watching TV. ...

.............during haircuts.

............sitting in laundry baskets.

.............while on the phone.
(this particular morning I had come out of my room to find him sitting there. like that. just watching his morning cartoon.)

................and always with his lechejugojuice

Carter likes lechejugojuice. ....

Now, Carter has never been to Jugo Juice, a shop in Mesa. The picture above actually means nothing to Carter because he can't read yet. Carter's parents are both fluent spanish speakers, so they birthed a little white boy that speaks a jumble of spanglish. This is the basics of the most common interchange in that house:

Carter: I want lechejugojuice
Mom: Que dices?
Carter: Pleaseporfavor (while rubbing his belly)

He doesn't always stick to just his milk though -- not if there's a Camelbak around. If it weren't for this kid, I wouldn't have discovered the lifesaver of a water sprayer that a broken mouth-piece is. Heaven on a hot day.

Carter likes eyewear. ...

......of all kinds. And looks good in it.

Carter likes to dress up. ...

.........in anything that's around really.

Here is one of Carter's best. This is from the early days of potty training. Those are boxers.

Carter likes eating. ....

..............and making a mess of it. You should have seen this meal. With each bite, more made it on his body than made it to his mouth. He was confused as to why I was cracking up.

.............and here is a classic Carter. This was either his birthday or the day after his birthday. He had just gotten that dinosaur and loved it. When I walked up to him and found this sight, though, he turned to me and said, very sadly, nearly on the verge of tears, "The dinosaur ate my muffin."

So there's Carter. He's pretty cool. I hear that nowadays he's growing up more and is far more interested in Batman than anything else (even Veggie Tales). Yet, I'll always remember him best as the kid that would come into my room at seven in the morning and casually open the conversation by saying, "So, how was work honey?" because that's a natural conversation starter, and the kid who runs up and down under the rain run-off,

and the kid that is for hours entertained by my toothbrush sarcophagus.

(and can say it, too)

2009-06-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

You know those Four Peaks you can see from the Valley off in the distance (that everyone knows about - unless you're like a couple of my friends....go here or here if you are)? On Saturday Mike and I climbed (literally) to the highest of them, Brown's Peak. It is described by other hikers/climbers as a class 4 and "for experienced climbers only." We're monsters.

At the top we could see the entirety of both Roosevelt and either Apache or Saguaro (not sure which one) lakes, and the whole rest of the Valley and beyond. Mike tells you more about it at his new hang-out, mikeshikes2009.blogspot.com. Check it out.

To Potential Interviewers/Employers:

2009-05-26T12:22:00.000-07:00

There is something I would like you to be aware of: my personal and family plans are, in fact, none of your business. In fact, you should not even think about or consider them when looking at hiring me. In fact, it would be illegal for you to do so. In fact, if someone with the same or lesser qualifications was awarded a position over me and I felt it was due to your consideration of my womanhood and potential to become pregnant, I could sue you. In fact, women have won millions.

Now, I would never try to be misleading in this area, and, were my own plans disjointed with the company's plans for me, it would simply be a position I could not accept. For this very reason I have not interviewed with the big accounting companies: I cannot promise the completely devoted years of service I would be under contract and expectation to give after the years and dollars they put in to train and mentor me. But one thing I can promise is to fulfill any contract or expectation that I do accept.

I have a question for you. Even if you were to consider that I have motherhood plans in my future, why would you not hire me? Would you prefer that the mothers of the next generation are uneducated and inexperienced? Would it not profit the world, this country, and even your community to have mothers that have worked through an education and applied that education through experience to gain true learning about people and the working of the world around them, who can then use this all in teaching and raising their children? With this in mind, who do you expect, if not you, to hire these future mothers? Another company? And who do they expect?

A Post about my Pooch

2009-03-18T16:39:00.000-07:00

Now this is a fact: during the semester I gain weight. It's not like I'm putting on the pounds, but I tend to get 5 or 6 pounds heavier than during the summer and winter breaks, in which it just goes away.

I don't consider this a very big deal, and is all very easily explained. Simply, during the semester, no matter how I try, I have a very hard time getting time to do the things I love. My runs become shorter, sparse, and then non-existent. Saturday morning hikes become sleeping-in catch-up marathons. My wake-up therapy (crunches) turns into alarm abuse. At first I don't know why I'm not quite satisfied with myself in my blouses anymore, but I soon realize my pooch is less than sexy and my hips a little softer.

I love my body. Body body body. Yet as the semester progresses, I get a little more sad at myself. Not just 'cause my body turns soft, but also because I become soft physically -- sixty crunches hurt, sore after runs, wiped out from a short swim. I yearn and can't wait for the return of my three hour runs, 800 consecutive daily crunches, and racing up mountains.

2009-03-11T14:33:00.000-07:00

I work for good men.

2009-02-25T14:16:00.000-08:00

From my blog page I clicked on "Next Blog." I was taken aback by the page I saw. The first thing I thought of was Lauren Face. To experience this for yourself, visit http://palomasrio4to.blogspot.com/.

On a side note, as a result of this, I am slightly disgusted at my past. A certain spanish speaking fella used to call me dove, or paloma.

A Novel

2009-02-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

One of the biggest reasons that I am so excited to graduate this May is that instead of spending my evenings studying or doing homework that time will be open for my own personal reading. I love to read. Read read read. I have been swept away by all kinds of books: I love historical fictions, sci-fi is so cool, I can’t draw myself out of love stories, I live in fantasy, and some of my favorite books are the retellings of old adventures and fairy tales. Nearly every book I have read I have read more than once (my favorites many times more), and, something Mike can attest to, I analyze them to pieces. I finish every book I read, with few exceptions (like Wicked, for example. It got so offensive/pornographic halfway through that I threw it away). I have a difficult time thinking of a book I read that I didn’t like or get something out of.

I’m pretty sure I can attribute my love of reading in part to my sisters. For the first eleven years of my life I was the youngest of six sister readers, which left quite a library at my disposal. Mandy (ten years my senior) would pass a book she had finished onto Julia (three years) who would pass it on to me. This is how I had already read books like Les Miserables before middle school. I realize now that even then I was analyzing the literature. I remember running to the dictionary for help on words and meanings, sometimes just reading the encyclopedias for a day for context, and of course Julia, Valerie, and I would discuss with each other (when we weren’t putting on light shows with out light-up shoes on the top bunk). I also remember how we would be grounded from our bedrooms and from our books because our mom “wanted to see our faces.”

So I’m a reader.

Apparently the BBC believes that most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books listed below. That surprises me, and I kinda don’t believe it. I have read thirty-seven and a half from the list. Half because one of them is the Complete Works of Shakespeare, and I’m pretty sure I’m still short some. I noticed that the majority of the ones I've read are in the first 50. I can’t really say if this is an inclusive list, but how many have you read?

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (a bunch)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Alborn
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

HAIRCUTS

2009-02-23T08:26:00.000-08:00

After checking in at Robert and Heidi's reception,

(what a shame we missed this part) Mike and I got to spend a couple hours with Tyler, Hannah, and Rachel (nephew and nieces), though Rachel was asleep for most of it. Not too long into the night Tyler called on a dance competition to his favorite song, Let's Get It Started (Black Eyed Peas). Now, picture these two throwing down the dance moves:

Quite the show. I guess that some kind of close bond develops between dancers on the same floor, because Tyler soon felt comfortable enough with Mike to start the following conversation:

T: Did you get a haircut?
M: Yeah, Shirley did it. Didn't she do a good job?
T: Oh. Well, did she cut a lot off?
M: yeah...
T: ...and just leave it around here (as he traces Mike's horseshoe with his finger).
M: Uh, yeah.
T: Yeah 'cause there's not a lot here. See, feel it (and after rubbing the top of Mike's head brings Mike's own hand up).

I guess I should have been more careful with the cleavers!

Check it.

2009-02-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

Nothing got done at my office today before lunch.

This is why:

aw he's waving.

stuck

2009-02-17T07:11:00.001-08:00

Everyday my husband takes the opportunity to tell me, "You're crazy. You are absolutely nuts."

It's okay, though, because I threaten his life expectancy just as often, or more.

2009-02-10T14:30:00.000-08:00

Moses was an avatar.

Disclosure

2009-02-10T07:09:00.000-08:00

Last night I stayed up till way super early this morning working on an audit project. I'm pretty sure I dominated it, which is needed for passing the class and always makes me feel good (I gain life-substance from writing killer papers). Currently, though, I am dying due to lack of the sleeping-substance (and a random unfulfilled morning craving for green beans). This is all my fault. Most often when I stay up all night studying or working on a paper it is not because I put it off forever, but really because it just took me that long to feel good about it. This time: not so.

So what was I doing instead in all that time that I could have analyzed the company and written it up? Here is my list:

(I love green)
Thursday after classes in the hours that I had just waiting for Mike I...blogged, browsed the nets, and watchedd an episode of the Office (but Mike would kill me if he knew!)
Friday after work I bought fruitsnacks for $1 at Safeway (I think that sale is on till tonight) and watched a movie with Mike. Didn't even think of the paper.
Saturday morning I slept in. Mike woke up, put my adorable shelf liner in my kitchen drawers (!!! I love it! It's still a surprise every time I open one!), went and helped people move, and then played basketball. I finally woke up, scrubbed the bathroom and the kitchen (bing!), did all the laundry (really, laundry takes up so much time. a perfect procrastination-time-filler), and started one of my favorite books again, A Tale of Two Cities. Mike says I read everything that's not my text book. Could be true.
Sunday was the Sabbath (BUT we did go to my parents and score major shopping in their pantries!)
So comes Monday. The day before it's due (at 7:30am). I have work all day, but get off way early. Perfect time to get to school work! But no. I invite Natalie over and we chat (hopefully this becomes something of a regular thing), and, since I have no willpower when caught up in a story, turn again to my Charles Dickens.
At about 9:00 Mike opened pinball on his computer. He played some games, and after totally sucking I had to take over. I played one game (without having played before) and beat all of his high scores by about three million. It took him about two hours to beat it. I rule. Disclosing this is the sole reson for my blogging today.

After trashing him, Mike made me start my project. I stayed up till the way early in the morning and am now very tired.

I also do have to add how Mike let me sleep till 6:45 and set up the printer so I could print my assignment and made lunch and breakfast for himself and me and pointed the space heater towards my side of the bed so it'd be warmer when I got up and even started packing my gym bag for me.

“I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.” -Stephen King

2009-02-06T12:04:00.000-08:00

The sole purpose of this post is to express my disappointment in Burger King fries. If you don't care about that, you may move on.

I'm not at all a fast-food person. Mike got a gift card to Pete's Fish & Chips so we used that the other week, but besides that I really can't remember the last time I got fast-food. Except for freedom fries. For some reason at the end of the day I crave -- hard core craving -- salt. Salt and ice, but not together. Very often this translates into a craving for freedom fries. I honestly only give into this craving every couple months (although when I was going crazy with work, school, and wedding prep Mike was very kind to me and turned his head when I indulged a little more).

Yesterday Mike had class till nine. My last class ends after 4:00. One thing I love about a schedule like this is that it gives me an opportunity to hit up the SRC every Tuesday and Thursday. After I had finished there I mosied over to the MU to set up camp for the evening. And then the craving struck. I turned the idea over in my mind.

I had only $10 in my account since Mike and I have been putting all our monies into his.

Neither of us were going to get any form of dinner till we returned home at 9:30 or later.

Freedom fries isn't much of a dinner.

I had just swam over a quarter mile and then run about four, dropping on the field every four minutes to do 60 crunches (I think up interesting workouts for myself. but it works for me. I used to do cartwheels every time I turned around when I would do speed runs on the canal). I could afford it.

Unhealthy is unhealthy no matter how you say it.

I can convince myself I lack the willpower.

Pansy.

I walked downstairs and got two orders of fries from Burger King. I was really excited about this, because I love freedom fries and because now I had an excuse to pack up and visit Mike during his ten minute break from class. Seeing Mike is always the most fun of anything. As we ate and visited I became increasingly saddenned by my freedom fries. My taste buds and stomach told me that these definitely were NOT worth it. The clincher was when we found an onion ring in Mike's freedom (which explained the overall onion ring taste). In that moment I remembered the last time I ate Burger King. It was High School. Freshman year. In between the Saturday matinee and evening showings of the play I was in. A tater-tot showed up in my fries. I was surprised. It was the nastiest thing ever.

And so, the moral of yesterday evening, and of this post, is that I will never again indulge in BK fries. I guess you can't expect freedom worth eating from any kind of monarch.

AND.
Last night Mike told me I have the cutest tush ever :-).

It's February 6th, 2009

2009-02-03T14:40:00.000-08:00

Where did you begin 2008?
I think at home. Which at the time was Joseph and Mary's house. Natalie had just gotten married and I was very into Tyson at the time.

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Ha. Single? I think it was right after Valentine's that Hayden started.

Did you have to go to the hospital?
Never.

Did you have any encounters with the police?
So I got a ticket for running a red light I didn't even know I ran. I was pretty sure it had turned green. But he said no. I think it was just 'cause I was delirious driving home late from Mike's.

Where did you go on vacation?
Payson. to mountain bike. Greer area. to snowboard. and Mexico!!

What did you purchase that was over $500?
a laptop. summer school.

Did you know anybody who got married?
no one I can think of. who does that anyway?

Did you know anybody who passed away?
yeah. but part of life deaths.

What sporting events did you attend?
ASU football!

What concerts/shows did you go to?
....Love You Long Time. small show. fun show. an unfortunate night.

Where do you live now?
In Mesa. Weird, huh?

Describe your birthday.
Well, I kinda had two birthdays, from two boys. There were many happy feelings and many scary I don't know feelings.
Tyson sent me the cutest little birthday package from Argentina. He told his sister he really felt like he needed to do something great to hold onto me, to remind me.
Mike wasn't supposed to get me anything. It was against the rules. I came home to a basket full of my favorite things in my room, a vase of flowers, and a beautiful framed picture of the temple that he had taken. That night he had told me to dress in a formal, and he picked me up and brought me back to his house where he had a candle-lit, three course dinner set up (made me cry) and Singing in the Rain afterward. The entire night I was certain and terrified that he was going to propose to me (which was also against the rules. I had a lot of rules.)

What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2008?
Marry someone that wasn't Tyson.

Any new additions to your family?
YES. Six new nieces and nephews and Mike.

What was your best month?
definitely not September.

Made new friends?
Mike's friends talk to me now?

Have any life changes in 2008?
Yes. Very much so. Major much so. And it's all Mike's fault. I really hated him for winning. Really. Probably more than he knows. Then again, he knows me pretty well.

Change your hairstyle?
Ha. Not by choice. It burned off.

Get a new job?
Why, yes. At the beginning of the year I was a nanny. Over the summer I was an EFY counselor, and then I started at TLW as an accounting person. sometimes i'm called an Accounts Payable Clerk. sometimes Assistant to the Controller.

How old did you turn this year?
21

Get married or divorced?
MARRIED

Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
Not once. Mike tried out for it though. Fag.

Start a new hobby?
Yes, but that's between Mike and I. Oh and I guess mountain biking could count. If we ever find time to go again. Oh and swimming! I swim now. Natalie got me started. Oh and I guess doing crunches is new too. Is that a hobby?

Been snowboarding?
Not since Jan, but boy do I miss it.

Are you happy to see 2008 go?
Too late. It's already gone.

The Nod

2009-01-30T13:58:00.000-08:00

You know how you go to someone's page and see someone else on it of interest and decide to check it out and that leads you to another and another and pretty soon you're miles away from the page you started at and have a million tabs open of all the cool stuff you're looking at?

Well, I have a friend named Eric. And then I was at this one guy's page and he had written this, which I thought was worth reading.

2009-01-30T10:57:00.001-08:00

I finally got to use the "Shut up sicko I'm married," line.
I hate catcalls. and "How you doin' girl?"s. and etc.
It's only cute when Mike does it.

That's why I love college - new experiences.

2009-01-27T10:53:00.000-08:00

Alright. This is what I'm used to:

Everyone calls everyone for a couple weeks to make sure everyone knows the specifics of FAMILY PICTURE DAY. Once we're all there, it's keeping the kids clean, out of the dirt, fed, and happy, re-arranging everyone fifty times, making sure the picture of the current missionary can be seen, taking a million pictures in hopes that at least one will have maybe half of the twenty babies looking in any direction the camera can catch (it's a bonus if they're smiling), everyone getting hot and sweaty and short tempered and annoyed, and knowing that by next month this picture will be outdated by three babies and two in-laws. I guess that's just what being a Mackey is (and so cool too).

So, this is our latest officially official family picture (I believe I had just graduated from High School...so about 3.5 years ago) (and this is a picture of a picture that my brother posted on FB so it's not best quality -- maybe a good thing for some of us).

With grand kids and marriages, I counted out nine more additions since this picture (family: correct me if I'm wrong).

So this past Saturday I had family pictures with the outlaws -- a first for me -- and it was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Pretty much we sat down wherever felt good, smiled, didn't blink when the camera flashed, and were done. Have I found a deal or what? So now I'll post a couple for you.

These are the Stocks (and all in these pictures until the granddaughters get married will be Stocks. Darn them boys stealing their wives' perfectly good last name) --

And this isn't Mike or me, actually his older brother and niece, but it's my favorite of the one's we've seen :-).

Back to where I started

2009-01-26T14:55:00.000-08:00

This morning Mike and I were singing "One eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater" in the bathroom. I had no idea what that verse was foretelling. On Saturday we had family pictures with Mike's family, during which Mike was a total stud and bum-hopped over a fence. Unfortunately, my glasses were in his back pocket. We discovered them pretty mangled, and that the left lense was forever lost in the river. After we found a place that could take me in and get me new eyes pronto, we had the dilemma: glasses or contacts? Glasses would definitely be cheaper, since my insurance would cover the exam and some of the frames, but contacts would mean that I could see right now, and not a week later.

I think the deciding factor was that Mike thinks I look better without glasses. So now I wear contacts.

AND am still getting used to them. Today I was working and my left eye popped out. I realized that I was seeing funny, but didn't figure out why till I saw my folded contact dried to the invoice I was working on. "Oh crud." So I tried to peel it off and learned that if a contact is stuck to something and you want to peel it off you have to wet it down or it will tear.

This wouldn't be so bad if my right contact had popped out, 'cause then I could just put on my glasses and have two eyes.

2009-01-05T14:42:00.000-08:00

Those who consider Mike their friend are genius. I wonder if they realize how completely selfless he is.

I Obviously am Not Working on My Paper

2008-12-03T21:55:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

gyno

2008-12-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

I never before understood why some women take the veil.

2008-10-01T18:55:00.000-07:00

I am engaged to Michael Allen Stock and also am the happiest I've ever been.

2008-09-27T00:53:00.000-07:00

"He got eaten."

2008-08-03T20:22:00.001-07:00

Julia: “Mary Ann, we’re trying to convince Eduardo that dating is fun.”

Mary Ann: “Oh, dating is fun. I’m not sure if you’d want to date these two, but dating is fun. These two are like roller coasters! And one of Shirley’s riders is gonna get de-railed. And Julia’s rider has had to get on and off fifteen times. Shirley’s ride is longer, but you fly off at the end.”

Latest News and Forthcoming Events!

2008-07-12T17:25:00.000-07:00

Hello to family and friends!
First, I'd like to announce *officially* my first office job! I start on Monday as the accounting clerk for TLW Construction. I am very excited for this position and opportunity, but also pretty scared...although the controller above me and the rest of the office seem really laid back, accepting, and helpful. Hopefully I'll be able to pick everything up and take off with it running. Also, just as an intersting note, after I left the office for the first time, having just been extended the offer for the position from the controller, I received a call on my cell phone from Mr. Ted L. Williams (TLW) asking if I have an Uncle and Aunt named Richard and Linda Mackey. Apparently my new boss is my dad's brother's brother-in-law, or, my aunt's sister's husband. Not sure yet if that's a good or bad thing.
An extra plus about my new position is that I can earn 6 credits of my required business electives for ASU just because I work under a CPA. Is that not amazing? That means if I took my remaining four classes this fall semester I could graduate in December!....but, I'm just going to split it up. That would be too much for me at once.

Further announcements from the life of Shirley: it may be very likely that I will be moving into a house in Tempe come August, renting it with four other girls. This is very exciting for me, and am sure for Joe and Mary as well. One thing about moving into a house, though, is that you've got to have stuff to move in with. So, as my loved ones and dear appreciated friends, I ask that you be on the lookout for furniture and the likes that people might be trying to get rid of or will be selling within the next little bit. Please let me know if you know of anything or if anything comes up, and if you've got any trusted leads please follow them. I would be oh so incredibly grateful!

Have an enjoyable and relaxing rest of your weekend and a beautiful Sabbath. I love you all.

Love,
Shirley Elizabeth

2008-07-07T18:07:00.000-07:00

You better believe that I rock. I'm pretty much pro now on a mountain bike. Give me any mountain or hill and I'll totally take it blindfolded on a unicycle.

2008-07-04T10:42:00.001-07:00

I'm totally going on a mountain biking adventure today. Way super excited. Hope I don't die so I can make it to the family date night tomorrow.

It's coming....

2008-06-04T15:04:00.000-07:00

So, geesh. I leave in TWO DAYS for EFY and am pretty terrified and pretty excited and terribly unprepared. But let's not think about that right now.

So update? Well, I'm currently dating Mike and we have tons of fun. Wanna know a secret? (*he's in love with and wants to marry me*)(I wouldn't think it a bad idea were there not a Tyson) Aside from that, Tyson comes home in THREE MONTHS. Mike knows. He's really hoping. Honestly, I'm really lost, but still committed to Tyson. Mike has kinda become something I never expected to come across, but as Tyson says, "I am not going to give up. I think I have been the most persistent of all. 14 weeks... 3 fast sundays... I do love you."

Also, I have started swimming! I started with my friend last week and yesterday swam an entire mile (which, for those of you who don't know, is 36 laps, and one lap is two lengths of the pool)! I would like to get better, but since I have a really hard time breathing it's going to take some time...but I'm okay with that.

So for those family that want to see pictures, I post pretty much everything on Facebook. Here's a link to the album of pics from a zoo trip Mike and I took Carter on:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2316918&l=5fae3&id=10038597

If you want to see the latest pictures that Tyson has sent from Argentina you should check these out:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2309672&l=dc785&id=10038597

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2252216&l=43b96&id=10038597

Enjoy! I will update again, I promise. ...may be after EFY though (I'm doing three weeks)

2007-09-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

I'm the kind of girl that can't remember what kind of razor she has, so ends up buying a new one every time the refills run out.

I'm also the kind of girl that can't remember to not leave her deodorant in the car, so she goes through one a week.

I'm also the kind of girl that is updating at 10:20 on a Saturday night because her entire day has been devoted to doing a group project in which she does all the work. And yes, I'm also the kind of stupid girl that is okay with doing all the work because she'd rather have it done right than risk relying on the ignorance and general listlessness of her group members.

2007-07-24T00:30:00.000-07:00

I kayak! Check me out!