Pregnant Shirley

I have been reprimanded. But Mike was, too, so it's okay. I am also less in the wrong, since I blog a heckuva lot more often than him.

As all the world now knows (really, to me my family is the world, since we populate half of it) a watermelon seed has sprouted in my belly, and once it's full grown on January 30, the doctor will take it out, crack it open, and inside will, hopefully, be a baby.

No, we do not intend to eat the watermelon.

Here is a list:

• My watermelon is currently 18.5 weeks old, and, despite what some silly women may say, you can definitely tell.
  
  
• Really, the line I've gotten from nearly every woman in the ward is, "Well I look more pregnant than you!" No, you don't, because you're not pregnant. This little belly that sprouted in the last two weeks is pregnant. Let me be pregnant without talking about your personal weight issues. Give me a couple more kids and I'll be there right with you, k? And don't even get me started on the people that say I'm too small.
  
  
• I cannot handle the heat. At all. Which drives me crazy. I can't do anything!
  
  
• The first time I thought I might be pregnant was when I was really only a few weeks along, I guess. I was out on a run and started hurting really bad. As I turned around and tried to walk/curl/massage it off I just kept thinking, "The baby doesn't like this run." How does that even work? And after that whenever I'd pass a store I'd have the thought to go buy pregnancy tests.
  
  
• The pregnancy tests are actually a funny story: I used one, but I guess I did it wrong because nothing showed up for 15 minutes. So I used it again. According to the packaging, that disqualifies it. This time it showed pregnant pretty fast, though lightly. I knew it. Lightly pregnant. I hid it in my nightstand and walked away. A bit later, Mike walked past as I was on the floor cleaning in the hall bathroom. I said, "I think I'm pregnant."
  And he kept walking.
  Then he came back and said, "How so?" (or something like that) and I responded that the test said so. He made me unhide the disqualified one and take another test. I thought I would be out of pee. This one also said lightly pregnant. Mike had us read the instructions five times over to verify that's what it meant. He was sad for a day, and then he was really excited. And I was just normal.
  
  
• I've noticed crazy hormones this past week. I watched the mailman pass our house one day without stopping and almost started crying. I had to laugh at myself. And lately I seem to be on the verge of tears throughout the mornings at work, which is inconvenient.
  
  
• Today I wore a skirt up at my waist that used to fit on my hips. Already I can tell that I will be carrying pretty low.
  
  
• The other day, Mike mapped out for me where all my weight gain has been. It added up to twenty pounds (ten being in the chest). I've gained eight total, as of last Friday anyway.
  
  
• The first thing I noticed physically, before the sickness even, were the huge breasts making their home below my collar bone. No kidding.
  
  
• I've grown out of all my pants but the sweats, most of my shirts, and I can also thank muffy and killer for the fact that most of my t-shirts are too small as well now.
  
  
• My runs have diminished to just 1-2 miles. I get sick and overheated and my heart rate skyrockets if I try anything longer, so I don't. I run, and then I walk for longer. It's weird, walking. It's totally different muscles. Did you know I've walked a 9:30 mile before? I used to be good at that.
  
  

Perhaps I will be nice and continue to post lists.

Here is another type of list: My friend, Dawn, participates in a thingy called "Wee Bit Wednesday," and I always find myself wanting to comment on her posts with all my answers, but instead of forcing my life story on her, I'll just post it here. AND this way, maybe I'll be posting every Wednesday, if I keep up with it.

{one} what’s your favorite day of the week and why?
Saturdays? But only the ones that aren't busy with tons of Church and family stuff. Those are good, too, but the best are when Mike and I get to go out on some adventure and have the day for each other.

{two} if you could have a glimpse of your future, would you choose to see it and what time would you want to see?
Well, it'd be kinda pointless, because I already know how it's going to pan out. I mean, sure, I don't know the specifics, but those are unimportant. My future is decided by me, and I've already decided how I'll be.

{three} if you could be any animal, which animal would you be?
Have you ever heard of a dik dik? It's the tiniest little dear thing ever! But, I would probably be a monkey. I've always wanted to be able to hop and fly and climb like a monkey. After watching a news report on a girl that grew up in South Africa playing with monkeys who was an amazing rock climber because of it, I decided my family would live in South Africa. I was like eleven.

{four} do you have a lucky number?
I've always liked multiples of 4, but not 4 itself. Does that count as lucky?

{five} if you could bring one famous person back from the dead, who would it be and why?
This one's too hard. I don't care about anyone famous enough to go through that nastiness, and Jesus already brought back Lazarous, so...

{six} fill in the blank: peanut butter and ____________.
We use honey, but I really like berry jams. Or you can do like my older brothers and do a slice of bread, peanut butter, jelly, slice of bread, peanut butter, honey, slice of bread. Really quite filling.

{seven} would you rather live by the mountains or by the beach?
Mountains. I would die without my mountains. There is nothing to compare with a run or hike out there.

{eight} do you have any tattoos?
ew gross.

{nine} if you could retire tomorrow, what would you do?
Clean my house, fix dinner, plant flowers, work on a baby quilt for my friend, organize the office, make a Moses basket decision, put away the laundry - you know, house-wifey stuff I've been dying to do.

{ten} what is your favorite all time movie?
Uh....we'll just go with "Pride and Prejudice," since it's a favorite that I actually own. "Hunt for Red October" is also a love.