Those Halcyon Days

Trey likes to pull apart our bookshelves. It's actually really cute how he jumps and knows he's doing something bad when I catch him. Today he pulled down and opened my high school yearbook from Freshman year. I started reading some of the things my classmates wrote to me and couldn't stop. Check out some of these gems:

"I do not have a stoker."

"You are too smart and I want some answers from you."

"You have a natural talent to dance or move. You are very flexible." (what in the crap? ha!)

"It was great trying to guess what song was stuck in your head."

"God is in the TV." (with a picture even)

"I have a tip: get better at jokes."

"Surely, you are funny and look like Julia."

"Always eat your vegetables." {recognize that J(no longer M)T?}

"Make sure that, no matter how desperate you are to date my brother, you wait until you're sixteen. Don't worry - you can date him as much as you want after that."

"I know you will remember me. I sit next to you." (deep words from my first serious crush)

Also, in slightly related news, I just watched the pilot episode of Gossip Girl and am already addicted. The things I do to myself.

And, since I can't leave you without something adorable to look at, behold, the child:

Let's follow Shirley's descent into awkwardness - Halloween style!

Look at that adorable CareBear! (I have no idea what's up with Jacob. Are those pipe cleaners and cotton balls?)

Awww. Apparently us three girls are princesses (and a Barbie). Holy incredible hair clip.

I was probably Cat Woman every other Halloween growing up. When you've found something you can rock so well, why ever change?

Ah! Holy all that Halloween stands for! Now THAT is scary.

Have fun Halloweening!

Did you know I'm a genius? Fo reals.

Hiya everybody! Sorry to be neglectful of the blog, but I have been crazy busy with a million ton of other things.

Por ejemplo:

Rototilling the yard. This isn't actually me. This is Mike from last year. But I did it this year, and pretty much Mike hated me for it. I guess it didn't need it? Whatevers. It was so much fun.

Finally putting that textured wallpaper up in our bathroom so we can get it put back together. I am very much done with sending guests to the master bathroom. Hopefully I can talk Mike into taking the toilet out again this weekend so we can paint the wall and officially be done!

Recycling everything to make awesome Halloween decorations! These two examples are our poor trees that died in the frosts (hey, it's only a $300 decoration!) and my costume from last year that consisted of about a hunnerd yards of tulle. But really, I have so many more frickin' amazing ideas it's genius! I can't get enough of myself. Nor Halloween. Come to our party!

Chopping, chopping, bagging, chopping, freezing strawberries. 16 pounds for myself and a bunch more for my friend (I chopped strawberries, she went on a cruise...hmmm).

Holy cow my hutch! In this I am also genius. This is just a sneak peak for you while I await the door hardware (that I ordered a week and a half ago?) and then tell all about it. This almost trumps all of Halloween. But doesn't.

Hanging out with this crazy cute kid! Who, actually, sometimes is more crazy than cute. Like today. When taking a borrowed Cinderella dress in a million sizes took me the ENTIRE day instead of a couple of hours. Thank you, crazy cute kid. Then my neighbor (bless her heart) sent her five year-old over and I got more done in that fifteen minutes than I had all day. Woot.

Unfortunately, I will be pretty quiet for the rest of the week and possibly next week as well, what with all the Halloween ingenuity going on over here. I've got to get Mike's costume taken in and Trey's costume made by Saturday for a family party, and then I'll only have a week till our party! Bah!

AND, since my sister will be in town this weekend we have made it a sister's night Saturday (to take place in the morning) and are going to a MASTERS Zumba class. Apparently my sister is going to be an instructor? Yeah, I've seen the videos, and I am terrified. I got zero moves like jagger. One klutzy, awkward, freckled white girl does not equal Shakira (cue hips don't lie in full screen) NO MATTER how much I wish it. Please, raise your hand if your husband's got sexier moves than you and commiserate with me.

UPDATED:  Sorry, forgot to add - I should have started training with a stroller years ago. Holy scrap running with a stroller is the hardest thing! So, for those still in the pre-mom stage that run, I would suggest a little cross training with a jogger.

Oh, What's In a Name?

I was named after my amazing Grandma (and I just happen to be posting this on her BIRTHDAY!). Unfortunately, I didn't get her flair of beauty (wish I had some of her old pics to show you), but I'm happy enough to try to represent her in other ways that I can. It's some pretty intense stuff, having the name of someone else. I can see all of the ways that I don't live up to it, but boy do I try, because being just like grandma would be awesome, of course.

I have always loved my name, though others might not get it. Yet, there is more to this birthright than I imagined growing up. When people hear about Shirley So-And-So the person that comes to mind is

 

(source)

Old Lady. Whether she be angry or not. In my experience, Shirley's are usually amiable enough. But either way, Old Lady. This means a couple of things. One is that I am always receiving Old Person mail. Certain groups seem to be endlessly concerned that I have a pretty lot picked out at a cemetery in time, that my casket will be to my liking, that my dentures are staying in tight - and clean, that my will is in order, and that I'm getting all that's due me from Social Security and Medicare. Such considerate souls.

The latest has been so kind as to wonder at my hearing.

   

People automatically assuming I am an old person also makes for trouble when workers come by the house. This is a conversation with our A/C checker guy.

ACCG: I'll give this info to my office. Thanks and have a nice day.

ME: Oh thank you. How will this be billed?

ACCG: Since there was no damage we'll send the bill to the homeowner.

ME: Yes, that's me. Will you still just send it, or will you take payment right now?

ACCG: Oh no we can just send the bill to the homeowner.

ME: Yes, that's me. I'm the homeowner. I'm Shirley. Do you need payment now if I'm Shirley?

ACCG: Oh, YOU'RE Shirley? Okay, yes I can take a card.

This might not all be the fault of my name, though. It could just be that, more than anything else, I am an old person. No, not an old soul. An old person. I talk about young girls like I was fifty years older than they. I fall asleep when I shouldn't - like when hanging out at friends' houses or on Mike's couch (before we were married. ALL the time). I'm losing my mind. All of my hair is falling out (I'm going to have to get the Sheri Do!). My biggest dreams are very old person-esque: Most people know of my desire to run a flower shop someday, but they might not know that I would love love to be a Story Lady.

Please tell me you've heard of The Story Lady. When I watched that as a little girl I wanted to be her, and dang-it I'd be so good at it, too. But really, if it were reading stories to kids or narrating for novels and big productions, I would love it.

So, Shirley: sleepy wannabe story lady, often mistaken for an old person, trying to be just like Grandma.

Lists: Last Week Edition

Self-Inflicted Injuries:

• two-inch burn on my hand from the oven
• black eye from walking into the wall
• cut lip - Amidala lips - from walking into the door
• gash in the knee from crawling out of Trey's room without him seeing me
• paper cut
• paper cut
• more burns

Days:

• Sunday
• Tuesday
• Wednesday
• Friday
• Sunday
• :-)

Phrases Most Often Said at Trey:

• What is your deal?
• You just like me for my body.
• Ooh I love your chubs!
• WHAT is your deal?

Rooms I Endlessly Cleaned Yet Defiantly Stayed Messy:

• Kitchen
• Great Room
• Front Bedroom (that we call the Back Bedroom)
• Master Bathroom (Trey's favorite play room)
• Note: All other areas of the house were given license to stay in whatever state they desired

 New Shows We Got to Watch Again:

• Parks and Rec
• Modern Family
• Community
• The Office (not big fans anymore; hulu was on auto play)
• Glee (I think we watched it)
• The Lying Game (I watch this because I'm dumb. Really, I can't think of any reason to watch it besides it's on earlier in the week.)

Nail Colors Attempted Yet Ruined Because I Have a Baby:

• Red (a few times over)
• Pink
• Blue
• Sea-Foam Green
• Orangey-Red

Sisters I Got to See:

• Mandy
• Jill
• Julia
• Val
• Jess (newest SIL)
• Becca
• Kendra (let's just be hopeful and count her here)
• All the rest of you - next girls night in Oct - COME

UPDATED to add:  Things I Lost A Million Times Over and Spent Way Too Much Time Looking For:

• My glasses
• Nail polish and accessories
• Trey's binkies
• My phone

(Mike is adding to my list)

• Tweezers
• Lotion
• Neosporin
• My mind

While visiting my parents' this weekend, I went up to my sister's room with the intent to feed my baby, but instead came down with an armful of shirts to borrow.

From my 14 year old sister.

And, no joke, I'm excited to wear the cute stuff.

I am a bit stumped by this situation. You see, this is me at 14:

That's right. Loads and

LOADS of style. But we've discussed all this and you already knew that.

P.S. Where ever you may be, take part in Museum Day! Request a ticket at the Smithsonian Magazine website (link) for free admission for two people to most museums this Saturday. We've got ours. Will you join us?

Will you take me dancing?

Be sure to watch out for that alligator, folks.

Worst Mom Ever Badge

(Applause)

Thank you, thank you. Really, what an honor. I am overcome.

(Applause)

But, 

(Hand up)

I know I could not have gotten here alone. There are so many that I owe so much to in this.

First, Trusty Toaster: I know I would not be here if not for you. I express my deepest gratitude.

(Applause)

There are still many more that have accompanied me down this path.

Netflix, Hulu – you two have facilitated me most in this effort, and I know we’ll never forget all of the long days and late nights.

Choking Hazards, Sharp Objects, how many times have we, together, worked toward this goal? Too many to count.

Of course, Audio Books, I can’t leave you out. I know ours is a recent partnership, but one I hope to see continue on for a very long time as we commit to continue in this crusade.

(Applause)

Again, I want to thank all of you for this tribute, and finish off with my recognition of you, Trey: I couldn’t have done it without you!

(Applause)

Lamb of God

Last chance to squaggle your butt over to see the Lamb of God performance! Tonight, 7:30, tickets $10-$20, my husband's in it. Doooo it.

(I don't think I've ever made as many typos as I did typing those three sentences. and this one. What in the Saturday morning?)

Games and Guns

Mike works super overtime right now, to make the extension deadline, which leaves Trey and I cooped up in the house with little outside contact till he gets home at eight or nine (PLEASE come play with us). I may just go crazy. So it's nice for us to get a fun break from the tedium.

Daddy and Trey, both focused on their pizza and the game.

We went shooting for the holiday. Mike's dad has some pretty impressive guns, to go along with my pretty impressive aim (wink). It was the perfect weather for it, and made me want to go hike the hills instead of shoot at them (which would have been a death sentence with everyone out there taking advantage of the holiday) but it was lots of fun.

(thanks for the gif help Connie! I'm addicted.)

Pillow Talk

shirley: I'm sorry. When I'm in a book, I'm IN the book. It's like my id is stuck inside and can't be drawn out. You know how you keep having to ask if I'm okay? I'm perfectly fine, just have nothing to express. I'm just blank outside the book.

mike: I won the bookmark contest in fifth grade.

Trey has always been a screamer, but has recently resorted to screaling to express any- and everything. I know I said I didn't want anything for my birthday, but I changed my mind. Ear plugs. Please.

He's so cute, but it's sometimes hard to see that through the nausea his ear-shattering screams give me (really, what would life be like?).

The Facts of (Stock) Life

FACT: We are not cupcake people.

Lots of people seem to be nowadays. I think there's a new little cupcake shop in every strip mall. If all that was offered for dessert was cupcakes, Mike would just go without (till we got home anyway). Cake is so much easier - and cheaper!

FACT: I was out of the habit of being productive for way too long.

I blame the pregnancy, but I'm pretty sure it was coming on before then. Really, my laziness was embarrassing. I now have a daily checklist to get through each day. Productivity = happiness. And I think Mike likes me better, too.

FACT: All synonyms at dictionary.com for productivity mean "fertility."

Yeah.....um, I think I still hold to the previous equation.

FACT: Doing laundry makes me motion sick.

I had to lay down for a long time after packing up all of Trey's "old clothes." It's usually not that bad.

FACT: Lots of things make me motion sick.

In the picture on my header I was actually really sick. I had wasted a half week in Denmark getting over plane sickness to get on a boat and become even sicker (hence the soup). I wonder what life would be like without it.

FACT: Mike and I are best friends.

He told me so. It's just the greatest thing.

FACT: Mopping angers me because of the mop streaks left in the wake.

Natalie likes to laugh at my mopping routine, but mop lines drive me crazy. PLEASE teach me how to get rid of them.

FACT: Every time a blogger says, "I'm making my blog private," there is a blog somewhere that falls down dead.

For real. Sure, you get a VIP spot in my sidebar so I can access you, but I only remember to get to those once every three weeks or so. And who wants to comment at that point?

FACT: Trey eats. Many things.

Yellow flowers

Pink flowers (these are not as good, apparently)

Toes

Spoons

Plums

Uno Cards

FACT: I love having fresh flowers to decorate with.

Love love love. Still have some of my birthday flowers out.

FACT: The digital library is the best thing.

I download and listen to books all the time. Really works along great with the being productive thing. Oh and with having a momma's boy.

FACT: This picture makes my teeth tingle just wanting to eat up those thighs.

I have long been of the opinion that the most beautiful instrument in the world is the male voice. (human, of course) There are lovely horns and strings and piano melodies. Women can inspire and Kenny G. can play every sexy Christmas tune, but none of that can fill you like a gentle baritone cadence.

My Michaelhusband sings. He sings beautifully. He sings in a way that turns me to butter every time I hear it. He once sang "On the Road Again" at a family reunion and it caused my heart to flutter right out of my chest. It would have had the same effect on the other girls if they hadn't all been blood.

In fact, at that time when I was planning to marry someone else I thought of how it meant that he would never sing to me again, and it ripped my heart (have you ever felt that? I was experiencing a lot of that those days). And then I imagined that he would find another girl and would sing for her, and it ripped my heart again. That is one reason I knew my answer - it brought me to the ground to think of him singing for any one else.

Mike has been invited to sing in the performance of Lamb of God by Rob Gardner that will be presented at Gammage Auditorium on September 9th and 10th. The description from Spire Music:

  
Lamb of God is a sacred musical work for choir, orchestra and soloists focusing on the final days of the life of Jesus Christ, His Atonement and Resurrection. It is written as a dramatic work and presented in concert format. It uses as its basis, and much of its text, the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and especially John, as found in the King James version of the Holy Bible.

 This inspiring piece is something you do not want to miss. Tickets are $10-$20, so totally doable even on a tight budget. Grab some tickets through Spire Music.