Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Oh the Joys

I've heard it said that every seven years or so our bodies go through a chemical change. Over the years I have used this idea to excuse away things I can't explain. "Oh I must be going through a chemical change."
It works.

Now pregnancy actually is a chemical change, and one that, for me, entailed going through puberty...again. SO MUCH FUN, right?

I'm not being completely straight with you. My first time through puberty consisted of: getting boobs.
That's it. I kept my perfect skin (I don't consider freckles flaws), colorless leg hair, and ability to go days without washing my hair or even sweating or smelling at all.

This was all just dessert, though, for having lived for YEARS as the most awkward and creepy little girl to ever ungrace the earth, and - get this - without even knowing it.

Proof:

Young and Awkward

The horrible

Young and Awkward

hideous

Young and Awkward

proof

Young and Awkward

Just desserts, I tell you. And be glad I spared you all The Bob Cut of Seventh Grade.

Unfortunately, with pregnancy all of that changed. It's like fate looked over my records and gasped, "Whuuuuht?!" And then proceeded to bless me with all I had missed out on initially. On came the acne. On came the nasty hair. On came having to remember deodorant (it's hard). The injustice!

I feel like awkward, preteen Shirley all over again. Everything looks and feels funny on me. I'm sitting inside strange skin. Is this just how post-pregnancy feels? Bleh.

I have noticed many women that hit that 25-35 range and just blossom, becoming more vibrant and beautiful each year. I'm hoping to bypass this second puberty quickly and turn out like them.



Let's play a little "I Spy" with those pictures. 5 points for finding each on the list:
hideous braided belt
what in the flower on the hat?
winnie the pooh garb
3 pairs of overalls
checkered shorts
6 unfortunate sets of bangs
little katie guest appearing in each one

6 comments:

katielizabethawkes said...

this entire post just tickles me. i had a raging awful awkward stage (i swear you and i shared a closet, or at least our moms shared a thrift store) and i was NOT.A.CUTE.KID. About 21 i think i finally grew into myself a bit. Now you've just motivated me not to get prego soon. Although i'll hold a baby once and become remotivated in the other direction, i guarantee it.

The Tieman Family said...

I noticed the Katie in all the pics- and if it makes you feel better she's totally more awkward in the 2nd one.

Kyle and Katie Willman said...

What is really weird, is that I have absolutely NO memory of any of those photos being taken, or even what we were doing in them! Man, I was a goofy looking kid! Although, I don't feel too bad because if you look, it is very apparent that every single one of the girls in those pictures was definitely going through an awkward stage, too! Love the blast from the past pictures... so funny! I can still name at least 75% of those girls... so crazy... and SOOO long ago!

Kyle and Katie Willman said...

P.S.- I am never letting Kyle see this post! ;)

Gina said...

I was going to make a comment about Katie and her amazing, center-parted uncurled bangs in every picture. Well done.

Carrie Carp said...

Hey everyone is completely different I know, but while pregnant with and after birthing my first, I was the most disgusting me I've ever seen. During my second pregnancy a little better, then Post partum #2 has been about one million times better and less puberticious. Who knows? Maybe next baby will just make your boobs even bigger and take away the bad stuff :)